Life is What it Is

“What if the point of experiencing sadness is to experience sadness? What if the point of experiencing anger is to experience anger? And yet, here we are, trying to get away from and avoid reality. We spend our whole lives running from reality…”

Delusion is a Wonder Drug for Awakening

What if delusion isn’t bad or undesirable? What if you have to embrace failure, that everything you’ve ever done or tried to do in your life just plain doesn’t work, not even the feel-good stuff?

Be a heretic – it’s the only way you’ll awaken. Shred all your beliefs to pieces and don’t stop until you invalidate everything you believe.

We are selective about what we choose to dismantle in our dreamstate. What we don’t want, sure, we’ll destroy it, but what we want? Never.

People are insane. The problem with conversations is you go into them thinking that what you say is going to have an impact on the other person, that its going to make some kind of difference, but it doesn’t/// they perceive it as a threat to the point/belief they are trying to prove. It’s absolutely insane.

Stop trying to change your life. Stop. Stahp!

It seems like resignation to just allow what is… to be as it is without trying to change it. Stop resisting reality, even just as an experiment. That’s what I did. It began as an experiment. Why not? Let’s see what happens when I stop trying to change my life. The lack of resistance pushed me off a cliff I never would have voluntarily walked off. What was at the bottom?

Truth.
Reality.
Smashed bug guts.
Beauty.
Life.
Death.
Everything.
Nothing.
Truth.

I Want the Fire of Life to Destroy Me

“I am willing to be as critically pessimistic about everything as I have been enthusiastically optimistic. What’s on the other side? What if? What’s it all about? I want to see clearly, not through clouded lenses. I want to charge into my fears no matter what’s inside. I don’t want the fire of life to consume me, I want it to destroy me.”

Self-Help is a Cosmic Joke

The self-development industry is all just a giant cosmic joke. We’re running around trying to change the personality, change the ego (identity), Change the costume.

Certain self-development programs shift the story from external causation to internal causation, and it seems like you’re finally getting somewhere. “No one to blame but myself!” What a powerful place to stand.

However, neither external nor internal causation are truth. Ultimately, the credit/blame is not ours to accept.

Free will is an illusion, albeit a persistent one.

We are like little Maggie Simpson, sitting in the back seat of the car, holding onto a plastic steering wheel, believing we’re in the driver’s seat driving the vehicle. Sometimes we steer left and the car goes left, but most of the time the car won’t go where we steer. But we are determined to spend the rest of our lives trying to make the vehicle (our body/life) move in the direction we turn the wheel.

Why won’t the vehicle go where we turn the wheel?

Bad karma.
Past life issues.
Blocked chakras.
A curse.
Demon possession.
Fate.
The universe saved you from an accident.
There’s something better for you somewhere else.

Bullshit.

We’re not in control, that’s why our lives don’t follow the way we turn our fake plastic steering wheel.

We were given the fake plastic steering wheel to perpetuate the illusion of control until our life becomes so ridiculous and frustrating that we finally realize we’re not in control.

Control and free will are maya (illusion)…

The only question is… how long will you continue beating your head against that brick wall attempting to “be the master of your own destiny” and “create your reality?” How bloody does your head need to get? How deep does the pain need to go before you’ll give up?

Society tells you to never give up.

You just have to try harder.
Do it better.
Do it longer.
Do it faster.
Do it differently.
Do it three times a day.
Move into your parents’ basement if you have to.
Just don’t give up.
If you’re not getting results, you’re doing it wrong.
You can do it.
You can get it.
You can achieve it.
You can change it.
You can make it work.

Don’t you feel the blood trailing down your forehead?
Oh, right, that’s not blood, that’s unicorn glitter, your badge of honor, your permanent scar you’ll reference when you finally make it and get on stage to tell your story to the world.

Of course. Carry on.

ZzzzZZzzzz…

Stick Your Finger in Someone’s Deepest Emotional Wound and Wiggle it Around

You can’t make a difference or an impact on your friends’ lives by agreeing with them, providing sympathy or compassion. If you want to support your friends, try sticking your finger in their deepest emotional wound and wiggle it around a bit. They’ll thank you for it later. It’s like ripping the bandage off your skin versus living with it hoping it will eventually just fall off on its own.

You are doing a disservice and injustice to people around you by allowing them to be out of integrity with themselves. To lie to themselves. You have to ask yourself if you want to continue being a sounding board for people to talk themselves into feeling better and avoiding dealing with their suffering—or if you want to help them.

This was one of the hardest lessons for me to learn. I saw it, and I didn’t know how to tell people what I saw, and I wasn’t prepared for the potential backlash.

You have to ask yourself if it’s worth spending the rest of your life being someone who watches everyone crash and burn to be loved by all; or if you want to be the person who provides nudges and course corrections simply because the opportunity is there and you’d rather be true to yourself.

You can’t rip the skin off a snake, but you can rip the bandage off your skin. And if you want to Wake Up, that’s exactly what you have to do.

If people only love what you have to say, that’s a sign you’re not helping them. If you really want to help someone, try telling them the truth with no filter. Piss them off and force them to look in the mirror. It might take them a decade or two, but eventually, if they look, they’ll thank you – eventually.

We’re All Psychopaths

We’re all psychopaths, some of us are just better at hiding it than others. Nobody gives a shit about other people, really. The human race is driven by selfish motivation at every turn.

We use soft language to get out of taking a stand and speaking our truth. How many decades have we spent telling people, “maybe,” “I’ll think about it,” “it depends” “it’s possible” “perhaps” etc. instead of just saying, “nope, not interested, thanks but no thanks, I don’t want to.”

That’s the biggest one. Avoiding the words “I don’t want to.”

We say we don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but that’s a lie, too.

We don’t give a shit about other people’s feelings—we’re avoiding being honest to avoid feeling bad.

We lie because we don’t want to feel bad about being honest. It’s never about the other person.

Think about it. If you didn’t feel bad for making someone else feel bad, you wouldn’t have any reason not to tell the truth. If you had no attachment to someone feeling bad because you don’t want to go to their cat’s birthday party, you’d have no problem saying no.

But you don’t tell the truth. You use that soft, ambiguous language of “I’ll think about it.” You don’t mean it, and yet you say it constantly. You say it throughout your whole life. To your friends, partners, parents, teachers, bosses, and co-workers.

And the more reasons you come up with the more they try to talk you into it. But you never had any intention of thinking about it, so you come up with excuse after excuse until finally you have to go to a funeral for a relative you don’t even have.

It’s a silly game we all play, and everyone knows it’s a game, yet we still play along.

I don’t feel like it
Why not? It will be fun
I have a business meeting that day
We can reschedule to Tuesday
That wont work either
Why not
I have to clean the house
Ok then lets do it right now
I’m too tired
How about Saturday?
I have to go to my Aunt JebediahJoseRosieSamanthaBob’s funeral and it’s going to last a whole month.

Inauthentic reasons just give people the urge to counter it. As if it can be countered. You don’t think people are stupid enough to believe your reasons? They don’t. You know YOU don’t. But you both still play along.

When was the last time you told someone you didn’t want to go see a movie because you aren’t interested in the movie?

Oh, I had a hard time with this one. I would find myself seeing movies I had no interest in. What a waste of money. And then one day I started telling people I just don’t watch movies. I have no interest, but I’ll happily stuff my face with popcorn and wait for them. Which is exactly what I’ve done, on numerous occasions.

I’ve even had people offer to pay for my ticket thinking funds were the issue. I politely declined and thanked them for their generous offer and still stuck to my truth—that I am not interested. And wouldn’t you know, it only took that one time for them to get that they don’t need to invite me to the movies when they go… and now I have less people to disappoint with myriad reasons and justifications.

Why Suicidal People Don’t Ask for Help

People who have made plans to commit suicide don’t ask for help. There’s no reason to seek help. You don’t want help – you want to disappear. When you’re suicidal, asking for help allows others to coax you back into living with the pain you’ve finally found an escape from.

Only people who are undecided ask for help. Asking for help means you’re asking to go back to the lie that life will somehow get better. But life doesn’t get better. Life is complicated chaos – futile no matter how good it gets.

Even if all wishes were granted, lasting happiness is a distant dream and suicide is the only rational choice. That’s how life occurs when you’ve realized the impermanence of everything and don’t feel like enduring the bad just to experience the good.