2010 Reblog: There is a reason for everything I say and do.

All it takes is one person to taint someone else’s perception of a situation. We are all just reiterating someone else’s story. Someone else’s lies. We are all storytellers in this world, and when we experience something we interpret that and reflect it back into the world in such a way that may or may not be real. Then, others take our stories, change them to fit their perspective and retell them. And the cycle continues. There is no such thing as first hand information. Everything is misunderstood to an extent.

Don’t believe anybody. Not even yourself But listen. Listen to them, learn to listen but don’t believe. Everyone is telling a story that is true for them – and what they say may not be true for anyone else. Perception shapes everything. Especially negative perceptions. Your outlook on life is going to shape the way you perceive the people in your life and what they have to say.

When people speak to you, you have no idea who is speaking through them. Is it them? Their heart? Their integrity? Or is it the prince of lies who lives inside their head? The liar that lives inside their head who is constantly telling them they aren’t good enough, strong enough, smart enough, pretty enough… really, who is it speaking through them? Are they angry? Hurt? How much of their emotional state of mind is shaping what they say and who they talk about?

Learn to listen without judging them. Sometimes they don’t know it’s their perspective on life that is causing them to lie.

2010 Reblog: “Whenever I have to justify, the truth I speak to you becomes my white lie.”

The world we experience through absorption of energy directly in the moment is not the world we describe to the people in our lives. Words build walls that keep the depth and real meaning from passing through. Everything important seems to be lost in translation.  It’s not possible to translate in whole what the heart feels through words. What is felt must be felt. That is the ultimate truth. All words are lies, somewhere, to someone.

Words are a form of linear communication. Whether they are spoken, written or read silently – their messages are conveyed in a linear fashion to describe events of the past… as opposed to pure absorption of a situation which can only be done in the moment. Not before and not afterward.

Words are always a lie to someone. Words taint the truth. Words are just tools to communicate knowledge and we all know that knowledge is just a collection of other people’s stories reiterated and memorized by other storytellers. Words describe moments which have passed – they can never describe the present moment simply because by the time words are spoken or expressed, the moment has passed, and will never be again.

Without words there can be no lies. The only way to experience pure, untainted truth, is to experience each moment WITHIN the moment, silently…

When we absorb a moment in our lives our heart allows us to experience it in full on the inside. Silently. Privately. We absorb every detail. Our thoughts race in a non-linear fashion in ways indescribable to others. We aren’t afraid to think and feel the depth that presents itself to us. But on the outside, other people demand “knowledge” of what we have experienced. That’s what creates the problem. We want to be able to tell others what our heart feels but we can’t for so many reasons. First, we cannot accurately translate feelings to words simply because emotions have to be felt to be fully understood. Words, when expressed to others, will automatically be interpreted based on an individual’s life experiences. People relate our words to their life experience, not ours. So already words become a barrier of complications that actually prevent people from really understanding what we’ve experienced in our heart.

When you love someone in this moment – right now – yesterday shouldn’t matter and tomorrow shouldn’t exist.

Words are what directly cause misunderstandings and lead to the lies we all tell each other. When we feel what’s inside someone else’s heart through absorption, we can’t possibly misinterpret absolute truth. The heart never lies. It’s only when we use words to try to explain to people what we feel that things fall apart. We feel pressure to meet expectations and when we can’t meet them we feel shame, guilt and sometimes embarrassment. We feel pressure to gain approval from others, and, based on the idea that people won’t like us or accept us unless we do what -they- want… sometimes we try to change our behavior to fit what we believe other people want from us. We let others take advantage of us and we lose our innate ability to stand up for ourselves because we become conditioned to please others above all else.

Is it too idealistic to want to have the opportunity to absorb the truth of what is in each others hearts? When are we actually able to absorb the truth the heart speaks? The reality is we don’t always get that chance with everyone, unfortunately. The only way is for others to provide us with that chance – and vice versa. Not everyone is comfortable with that.

When we use words to describe to people what we feel, they become confused if we can’t explain it to their satisfaction or expectations. Perhaps our words don’t match what they view as their contribution to our lives. Not by any fault of our own… but the failure of our choice of words to be powerful enough to convey the depth of what we feel in our hearts might cause people to feel not good enough, like they’ve failed somehow…

Thus exaggeration is born. Telling people what they want to hear. Sometimes honestly believing that it’s truth simply because we want it to be truth.

Daily conversation is just a form of communicating knowledge. Knowledge is always tainted to some degree. It’s as though the world is playing a constant game of “telephone” but there are no operators waiting to help us determine truth from fiction in our own lives let alone anyone else’s.

And once we’ve been conditioned to transform our own feelings, deny what our heart feels, cover up our true emotions… all because other people hold us to impossible expectations and demand words from us… we embody the lie that becomes our truth.

“Whenever I have to justify,

The truth I speak to you becomes my white lie…”

Once we lie, we feel the need to apologize when it is discovered. But what are apologies? They are just more confusing, complicated words. But they shouldn’t be. Apologies should be delivered unspoken, untainted… as pure communication from one heart to another. For most people – apologies are never enough. Why? Because they’re just words.

The best apologies are not really apologies at all and are non-verbal expressions of truth. Once the truth is known, is an apology really necessary? Non-verbal apologies don’t allow us to hold onto our anger. Why? Because once we feel what is in someone else’s heart we cannot hold onto our anger anymore. The direct result of absorption of the truth is that it replaces the past instantaneously.

What happens when someone doesn’t accept our apology?

Unaccepted apologies are a way of saying the right combination of words and actions has not been expressed; our expectations have not been met. We force people to keep trying and trying until they’ve said the right thing at the right time even though it’s never enough for most people. It’s never enough because it’s not real. Words are not real. But when you apologize through absorption and transference of energy – when you speak FROM the heart TO the heart – it leaves no chance of being unaccepted simply because the heart cannot reject the truth of what another heart feels.

2020 Reblog: simplicity

Emotions directly affect the physical structure of our DNA. That structure of our DNA directly shapes the physical world we experience.

I tend to forget that these events are a mirror for me to see what I need to cleanse within myself – internally.

It’s not there for me to fight externally. It’s there for me to conquer inwardly.

They’re my mirror; I am theirs.

It’s really that simple.

2010 Reblog: standing.outside.a.broken.phonebooth.with.money.in.my.hand.

it’s not just the sound of the ocean which comforts me.

it’s the idea of her depth remaining unknown to me no matter how deeply i swim.

it’s the mystery which surrounds her beautiful tide breaking in harmony with the music inside my head…

contrary to the rest – i find joy in not knowing everything. mystery serves a purpose, you know.

i find joy in sharing beautiful people and experiences with others rather than chaining them to experience only that which exists in my world. when someone makes me feel wonderful – i wish for everyone in their life to be able to experience that piece of their soul so they may feel as good as i do.

it’s time to start over. from the end. because with the end comes a new beginning.

//

Originally published January 18, 2020.

12-year cycle? 

Be.

For a short time, I lost myself in a sea of quicksand, trying to defend myself against lies that only made me sink deeper. In the end, I came back to center. And here is my mantra:

“I am so in tune with who I am at the core of my being and with unconditional love that I allow others to Be even when they don’t allow me.”

Yes. This.