Author: Spiritual Heretic

Rampart Range: an Analysis

**This is a guest post from our beloved community member, cheep thrills.

I’d like to take a moment and talk about the trip to Rampart in March of 1999. Let’s take a special look into the 16 minutes from a professional standpoint. Too start off with, some background:

The camera used was the school’s property, I believe the Sony 8mm. The parties involved include Eric Harris & Dylan Klebold, Mark Manes, Phil Duran, and Jessica Miklich. We start off with E&D shooting sawed-off shotguns, one pump action & one side-by-side double barrel into a bowling pin tucked into a tree fork with buckshot & slugs. Right away, Dylan injures his hand and seems to love the pain and makes a statement about hurting his wrist & blood. This is an example of an inexperienced teen with a sawed-off 12 gauge. The force and kick changes dramatically once the stocks is removed and the barrel has been cut. You will see the force throughout the video from different perspectives.

The next part directly after the tree inspection, we see Dylan chamber the Tec-DC9 in an attempt to shoot the pin that’s tucked into the tree, but one thing I noticed was his first shot… then a stutter step forward and pause, even someone else chuckled watching. Then he attempts multiple times each time moving closer and closer to the target popping his neck in a fit of frustration. Then there’s the troll “yayyyyyy” when he connects with an awkward silence. From my experience, I would guess this may have been the first time Dylan shot the Tec.

Also, I’d like to note the small section of Harris shooting his High-Point, which is the only footage of that carbine being shot. Next, we have Mark Manes saying “party time” toting a Ruger Mini series Rifle. This particular model rifle is highly customized with a Chote folding stock, barrel shroud, 30-round magazine, and a scope. The older mini 180-189 series had thin barrels and were notorious for having barrel warp during prolonged firing, causing them to be highly inaccurate.

I believe Mark’s was an older 189 Series. What I can’t say is what model/caliber it is, it’s either the -14(.233) or -30 (7.62×39). It may also be considered an older ranch model since it has a mounted scope (scope ring mounts installed), but Ruger didn’t start roll marking their rifles “ranch rifles” until 2000’s, so even though it’s a ranch rifle it’s gonna be roll-marked as Mini-14/30 still.

Back to the Vid… he obviously can’t hit anything with the scope or iron sights as we later see in video and this issue goes with everyone. Notice the segment of Harris attaching what appears to be a barrel shroud extender to the Tec-DC9. This device mocks as a silencer, but allows one to extend the forward grip hand further out. I wonder where the extension ended up? I’m sure it came with the purchase of the firearm.

The trigger discipline on Jessica makes me cringe. She even waves a loaded pistol around later on in the video unsafely. Off camera, Phil bumps his eye on the optic from the rifle’s blowback.

I’d like to take this time to address the failure to feed issues with the Mini that Mark’s having. Now he has ripped the optic off and we can see the visible integrated scope mounts making his Mini a Ranch Rifle model most likely a 189 series’s. His FTF issues are from the high capacity magazine which I suspect would be aftermarket. He states it to be a problem with the ammo, but that’s not the case since the bullet fires and extracts, it’s the weak magazine springs that fail to support the next round up into the chamber causing mushy feeds.

Next, we have Phil and the Mini’s mag filled up to the maximum capacity which was causing bolt drag and lockup while he was trying to chamber a round and what the hell is Dylan thinking when he points a loaded gun at Phil? I can imagine there was little to no thinking involved. Dylan then asks for Eric’s left glove, how touching, but didn’t he hurt his hand in the beginning with the shotgun? Why is he just now asking for a glove?

Next, I’d like to address the semi-auto pistol that can be seen shot by Eric & Mark & Jessica. It appears to be a Ruger P-series semi-auto pistol in stainless, caliber unknown. A common double action 90’s gun that’s heavy and bulky and came in an assortment of calibers.

Phil makes a reference to Dylan while he pauses, shooting the Ruger pistol in an attempt to be safe while Dylan is waving it around. He states its “double action and it’s still loaded.” Mark chimes in momentarily and says “that’s not what double action means.” Mark’s statement is wrong and Phil’s was right all along. The semi-auto pistol can be fired in double or single action. It fired, then chambered a round, and is ready to fire hence 2 actions; and is ready to fire again.

Next thing I saw that’s shockingly scary is Jessica shooting one of the sawed-offs. It looks as if it literally jumped out of her control. What’s the deal with people saying “right up his or its ass” in these vids?

Thanks for reading my analysis and I’d like to take this time to thank all the great researchers that helped me understand some things I didn’t know!

Posted on by Spiritual Heretic 0

Awakening Warrior: Introduction

Note: I wrote this introduction many years ago and although I’m publishing this version, it may change over time and be different in the final book.

I live an extraordinary life where miracles manifest around every corner. Although, it’s actually other people who use the term ‘miracle’ to describe the way my life unfolds. Calling something a ‘miracle’ implies it was an unlikely event. I don’t see it that way.

When I say my life is extraordinary, I don’t mean to imply I’ve become a millionaire or a successful entrepreneur. I was an entrepreneur once. It was awful. If I wrote a book about it, it would be titled I Threw My Laptop Lifestyle Out The Window.

Extraordinary, to me, means exactly that – extra ordinary. Ordinary with a side of ordinary; hold the pickles.

I’ve reached a place of ease, where the struggle to survive – physically and psychologically – has dissolved. I didn’t win the lottery and I don’t live in luxury. Life is easy because I’m no longer struggling to maintain an identity in the world. I have a deep connection with life, and an even deeper appreciation for simplicity.

My life wasn’t always like this. In my teens and through my 20’s, my life was chaos and destruction at every turn. I suffered from severe depression and saw no point to life. I was suicidal and burning with rage.

I dove head first into spirituality at the age of 11, immersing myself in Wicca, Druidry, and other ancient practices. At 16 I worked at a new age metaphysical bookstore and read every book I could. Based on what various authors proclaimed, I pictured Awakening as the end of suffering – the dawning of eternal bliss. After all, that’s what “enlightenment” is, right? Heh. Not exactly. Not even close.

When the Awakening process unfolded, the result was unexpectedly destructive… yet profound.

After Awakening, I gave my spiritual practices a swirly and flushed them all down the toilet. I realized the deceptive nature of abilities like telekinesis, seeing through closed eyes, and clairvoyance. I understood the deception of superconsciousness, reincarnation, oneness, and other “new age” spiritual concepts – no matter how real the experiences are, they are a distraction from the ‘meat and potatoes’ of Awakening. You can have both, but not at the same time. Awakening comes first – then these things fall into their rightful place.

Living chaos and destruction woke me up

Most people presume their path to Awakening will be positive, like lovers dancing in a field of flowers, blissed out, feeling “one” with the world. My path was being in perpetual conflict with everyone around me on a bloody battlefield that followed me everywhere I went.

While journeying through life tuned to the frequency of destruction, I came to understand aspects of humanity that most people can’t even fathom. Although it remains a mystery to most, one aspect of humanity I thoroughly understand is school violence. I understand it because I was one of the kids who decided to pack years of rage into the barrel of a gun and unleash that rage at school.

Although I had the desire to do it, it never went beyond an idea. I didn’t have access to a weapon. But that didn’t stop me from planning – and threatening – a suicide-murder mission at the age of 14.

When I was caught I didn’t deny my intentions. Still, the judge dropped my case without even meeting me – that decision would never happen today. It was 1995 – three years before Jonesboro, four years before Columbine, and twelve years before Virginia Tech.

I was charged with terrorist threats, narrowly escaping charges of vandalism and extortion. I got off easy. I was a gifted student so they didn’t believe I was a threat. I wouldn’t really hurt anyone, they said. I was just acting out over my parents’ divorce, they said. Therapy would help, they said.

Everything “they” said was wrong. I wanted revenge more than my own life. My rage had nothing to do with my parents’ divorce. Therapy made me angrier. The rage I was ready to unleash had accumulated from years of abuse in school that went ignored by everyone around me. But I didn’t write this book to describe those experiences to win your sympathy or support. And I’m not using this book as a platform to lament about schoolyard injustice.

Although many will sympathize with my experiences in school, I’m not trying to validate my past, nor am I looking to shame the school system or even condemn my bullies. In fact, some of the people I once considered bullies are now my friends.

I wrote this book to tell a different story. For many years I perceived the actions of others to be the cause of my rage. After Awakening I understand it differently. Despite my experiences, I don’t see myself as a victim, and by the end of this book, you’ll understand why.

There’s a fork in the road to healing, and most people go left or right. I didn’t take the easy road. I didn’t take the road less traveled. I continued straight ahead, forging a path through a dark and brambled forest, thorns piercing and slicing my body from every angle. I emerged exhausted and bloody, yet victorious. What I discovered destroyed my perception that abuse had caused my suffering. I learned the Truth. And that’s what this book is about.

Not another book about school violence

Awakening Warrior isn’t just another book about school violence. You won’t find kill counts, biographies, or a psychological analysis of school shooters in this book. Other authors have covered that information extensively.

This book shares what hasn’t been published: a raw and unfiltered perspective on school violence written by a former teenager arrested for planning a shooting, who transformed their life.

Not another book about bullying

Stories about bullied kids are a dime a dozen. I’m going to tell you a different story, one you likely haven’t heard.

I’m going to tell you how I obliterated severe depression, homicidal urges, suicidality, OCD, manic depression, rage, and severe PTSD without a drop of therapy or medication. I’m also going to tell you how I turned my bullies into friends.

I’m going to share the monumental ‘mistakes’ I’ve made that led me to uncover a deep wisdom about life. And I’m going to share the training that taught me how to step into my greatness and lead others to do the same – training that’s accessible to everyone around the world.

I’m going to share how attending a modern day Mystery School forced me to climb out of the morass of judgment, give up my emotional addiction to pain and suffering, and trained me to achieve higher states of consciousness that often result in mind-blowing mystical experiences. Like being able to manifest desires and see with my eyes closed.

Most importantly, I’m going to share the wisdom of a four-decades-long journey born from destruction that unfolded into a deep love for what many call “God” or “The Universe.”

This book is about transformation, not motivation

We already know why teenagers choose to kill their classmates and teachers: they’re burning hot with rage, generally the result of real and perceived injustices. There are individual circumstances that vary, but with each new incident, the narrative follows a familiar path. We have this narrative memorized, yet knowing a shooter’s motivation never helps to prevent the next incident.

If you want to learn how to transform a deeply rooted state of depression, rage, and suicidality into one of peace and contentment – in yourself or others – this book is for you.

My story will take you beyond motivation, into a space that provides answers from a new perspective. A perspective I didn’t have access to until I became committed to Truth. Once I tugged on the first thread, my life unraveled like a Weezer song.

Getting to this point wasn’t easy. I had to confront my worst fears and courageously walk through them all. I had to allow myself to bleed out, to be shredded and dismantled from top to bottom.

Most importantly, I had to let go of the one thing that provided me with comfort: my suffering. Not just suffering, but my suffering. I clung to it like a koala clings to a Eucalyptus tree. And when I realized nobody was going to pry it away, I had to do it myself.

Why I’m sharing my story

My story is a roadmap for preventing suicide and school violence and demonstrates how even the most destructive mindset can be healed.

I’m sharing my story because…

… right now, there are kids plotting murder right under their parents’ noses. Their friends know something’s wrong, but don’t know how to intervene.

… right now, there are teenagers and adults sinking deeper into suicidal depression who don’t know how to get out of their downward spiral.

… right now, there are thousands of people whose lives will one day be ripped to shreds by a school shooting. Like all who came before, they’ll say, “I never saw it coming. He was such a nice kid. I never thought it would happen here.”

I’m sharing my story because the world is divided on the cause and solution for school violence. And I’m committed to bridging this cavernous gap.

I’m sharing my story because right now, thousands of teenagers are suicidal because they feel irrelevant. And they need to know their life matters.

I’m sharing my story to encourage parents to develop authentic connections with their kids, and to give teens the courage to have ruthless compassion for friends who may be on the edge.

And if you’re on the edge, I wrote this book as an invitation to take a few steps back from that edge, just for now. No matter who you are, I’m committed that by the end of this book, you’ll see a bigger possibility for your life, and you’ll know that your life – and your voice – matter.

Posted on by Spiritual Heretic 0

2010 Reblog: Spiritual Vs. Physical Connections

I feel as though it’s time to address something I have been unable to put into words until now. Physical and Spiritual attachment, connection, love etc. What is the difference and how do you know when one is stronger?

I have never been able to handle death in the ways that other people do. I don’t cry, throw things around, get angry and take out my anger on everyone around me. Not through suicide, drug overdose, accidents… natural death. It doesn’t matter how someone dies — I don’t react the way most people do. I hate going to funerals, not because they’re depressing but because they’re not a celebration of the person’s life. Surely I understand that people need to grieve, but I don’t see the need for most of what goes on at “modern day funerals.” It actually hinders any celebration that could be taking place.

Why have an open casket funeral when the physical body is just a tool for the human spirit? The physical skin is meaningless and should not be present at any funeral, although in a closed casket it is more appropriate. Do dead bodies bother me? Hardly. I once devoured a few tacos and an iced tea while watching an autopsy that had everyone else gagging on their lunch. Do they offend me? Hardly. So… what is it? The human body is merely organic matter… cells… put together in a specific way to enable us to occupy them. Once we leave the physical body it isn’t connected to us any longer. It’s just organic matter. Why on Earth would we want to have a “last viewing” of someone we love in that lifeless state? That doesn’t help us remember them and carry on their life. It’s an image that haunts people instead of inspiring them. People hold onto the physical and are so reluctant to let go that they view funerals as a “final goodbye” and once that body is buried in the ground it’s over. It’s over? Hardly.

This brings me to the attachment issue… people are so attached to the physical persona that they can’t handle “loss.” When you “lose” someone you love, you’ve lost their physical touch, their physical presence, their physical voice, talks, etc. Every physical interaction with that person is gone. But what about the spiritual?

When people build connections with other people, they focus on the physical connections. They like the same kinds of boys/girls, they hang out at the same clubs, they like the same music, they have other mutual friends, they enjoy the same books, they subscribe to the same religion, they play the same instrument and maybe they have had the same struggles in life. But… what kind of lasting connection is that? When they cease to exist, you can’t go to the clubs with them, you can’t play chess with them, you can’t horse around in the backyard and smoke Cuban cigars after a good barbecue. You can’t swim in the ocean together or play video games with them. Those activities you have based your lives around die when that person ceases to physically exist.

So… why do people spend their entire lives building connections with other people that are based around physical existence? It’s no wonder they can’t handle physical death. They really don’t have any other kind of connection. In their mind, that person is really truly gone.

No wonder they grieve for their whole lives sometimes. Now I know why they can’t celebrate. There’s nothing to celebrate for them. The physical connection has been broken and will never exist again. Why celebrate a lifetime of memories with someone when you’ll never have them back?

We say we have ‘spiritual’ connections with people, but do we really? How do you know? I’ll tell you. If someone dies and you don’t feel empty – but completely fulfilled, loved, and full of hope – you’ve got a tight spiritual bond with that person. When you are connected to someone’s spirit, you are connected to the essence that makes them who they are; not just the skin they used to get around.

You’re not going to feel loss. You’re not going to feel pain. Not the way you usually do. When you feel the loss/pain it will be accompanied by joy and hope of the highest caliber. It’s not a feeling easily described. You just feel it.

Connect with the soul, and things will start to change. I promise.

Posted on by Spiritual Heretic 0

2010 Reblog: Commitments, Expectations, Honesty

When we allow ourselves to be abused because we can’t let go, we start to believe that we deserve it; that because the good in the situation is the best we’ve had, we can do no better. We hold ourselves back from truly living OUR lives the way WE were meant to live them with this way of thinking.

When we want something and we have little to no self-esteem, we grab the first thing that comes our way. After all, we don’t believe the chance will come around again. We’ve conditioned ourselves to believe we not only don’t deserve it, but that it is impossible to start with. We condition ourselves to tolerate that which destroys us inside as a sacrifice for whatever it is we want to gain, be it a relationship, a family or a job. The cycle continues. Unhealthy relationships are built. Healthy relationships are destroyed because of the other, unhealthy ones. Time goes on and the only way to escape the misery is to detach, let go, and move on.

But when we want something and we believe not only that we deserve it but that it is attainable and it will happen – we break free from the cycle of torturous thoughts of worthlessness and something amazing begins to happen:

We experience, for the first time perhaps since kindergarten, what it means to truly be alive.

Throughout the course of our lives we unknowingly create expectations we can never live up to. We think our peers are the ones who expect too much of us, but we are unknowingly creating those expectations.

With small talk as an example, “I’ll call you later” means, “I need to go but I feel obligated to tell you we will continue this conversation even though I have no intention of doing so.”

So what happens if someone says, “I’ll call you later?” That person will expect to be called later. And then what happens when they don’t get that call? They become worried, upset, or even angry. They feel cheated, worthless and forgotten… cast aside. There never was any intention behind the statement. It’s just one of our many learned ways to escape a situation without being honest.

Posted on by Spiritual Heretic 0

2010 Reblog: What do you need to be happy?

Once people swallow the belief that without their particular combination of things they won’t be happy, they form an attachment to it. Then they pursue it relentlessly. It consumes all of their time. Then they maintain a defense mechanism to fight off any possibility of losing it. That then creates the emotional dependence… the object of your attachment then has the power to thrill you when you have it, make you anxious when it is momentarily taken away and make you miserable when you lose it forever.

We spend our lives attempting to rearrange the world around us in order to hang onto these attachments. Once in a while it works – and for a brief moment the world caters to our wants and we are happy. But that never lasts, and once again, we become miserable.

I will say it time and time again, when we get what we don’t want, we suffer. When we don’t get what we want, we suffer. And even when we get exactly what we want we still suffer because we can’t hold onto it forever.

Even if you are able to  hang onto 99% of your attachments, the 1% you are unable to hang onto will prey on your mind and cause you immense unhappiness and take over all of your thoughts. The 99% you are able to hang onto won’t overshadow the 1% you have lost.

Attachments. They’re easy to drop. Here’s a tip:

Take the basket you have filled with the injustices you have been collecting over the course of your whole life and turn it upside down. Shake it. Turn it back over and refill it with your attachments. Turn it upside down. Shake it. Rinse and repeat. Voila! You’re free from vengeance AND attachments at the same time!

Posted on by Spiritual Heretic 0

Untitled prose

“she collects pieces of quiet beauty that remain invisible to the rest of the world. While most people walk the streets unconsciously plucking them from their foundation of life, tossing them off to the side like trash, – she rescues a small piece, thus saving the whole from a fate of complete invisibility. sometimes a reminder of where she’s been; often reminiscent of a time when her soul smiled – but always a testament to her inherent ability to find beauty in places that others take for granted.”

Posted on by Spiritual Heretic 0

2010 Reblog: Spiritual Vs. Physical Connections

I feel as though it’s time to address something I have been unable to put into words until now. Physical and Spiritual attachment, connection, love etc. What is the difference and how do you know when one is stronger?

I have never been able to handle death in the ways that other people do. I don’t cry, throw things around, get angry and take out my anger on everyone around me. Not through suicide, drug overdose, accidents… natural death. It doesn’t matter how someone dies — I don’t react the way most people do. I hate going to funerals, not because they’re depressing but because they’re not a celebration of the person’s life. Surely I understand that people need to grieve, but I don’t see the need for most of what goes on at “modern day funerals.” It actually hinders any celebration that could be taking place.

Why have an open casket funeral when the physical body is just a tool for the human spirit? The physical skin is meaningless and should not be present at any funeral, although in a closed casket it is more appropriate. Do dead bodies bother me? Hardly. I once devoured a few tacos and an iced tea while watching an autopsy that had everyone else gagging on their lunch. Do they offend me? Hardly. So… what is it? The human body is merely organic matter… cells… put together in a specific way to enable us to occupy them.

Once we leave the physical body it isn’t connected to us any longer. It’s just organic matter. Why on Earth would we want to have a “last viewing” of someone we love in that lifeless state? That doesn’t help us remember them and carry on their life. It’s an image that haunts people instead of inspiring them. People hold onto the physical and are so reluctant to let go that they view funerals as a “final goodbye” and once that body is buried in the ground it’s over. It’s over? Hardly.

This brings me to the attachment issue… people are so attached to the physical persona that they can’t handle “loss.” When you “lose” someone you love, you’ve lost their physical touch, their physical presence, their physical voice, talks, etc. Every physical interaction with that person is gone. But what about the spiritual?

When people build connections with other people, they focus on the physical connections. They like the same kinds of boys/girls, they hang out at the same clubs, they like the same music, they have other mutual friends, they enjoy the same books, they subscribe to the same religion, they play the same instrument and maybe they have had the same struggles in life. But… what kind of lasting connection is that? When they cease to exist, you can’t go to the clubs with them, you can’t play chess with them, you can’t horse around in the backyard and smoke Cuban cigars after a good barbecue. You can’t swim in the ocean together or play video games with them. Those activities you have based your lives around die when that person ceases to physically exist.

So… why do people spend their entire lives building connections with other people that are based around physical existence? It’s no wonder they can’t handle physical death. They really don’t have any other kind of connection. In their mind, that person is really truly gone.

No wonder they grieve for their whole lives sometimes. Now I know why they can’t celebrate. There’s nothing to celebrate for them. The physical connection has been broken and will never exist again. Why celebrate a lifetime of memories with someone when you’ll never have them back?

We say we have ‘spiritual’ connections with people, but do we really? How do you know? I’ll tell you. If someone dies and you don’t feel empty – but completely fulfilled, loved, and full of hope – you’ve got a tight spiritual bond with that person. When you are connected to someone’s spirit, you are connected to the essence that makes them who they are; not just the skin they used to get around.

You’re not going to feel loss. You’re not going to feel pain. Not the way you usually do. When you feel the loss/pain it will be accompanied by joy and hope of the highest caliber. It’s not a feeling easily described. You just feel it.

Connect with the soul, and things will start to change. I promise.

Posted on by Spiritual Heretic 0

2010 Reblog: Be impeccable with your word.

Whenever there is idle time or an awkward moment – more expectations are silently created. Sometimes people don’t realize they are making commitments with their idle chatter.

So who is to blame? Those who unknowingly make commitments they can never seem to keep? Or the situations which conditioned them to engage in idle chatter and stifled their ability to be honest?

Posted on by Spiritual Heretic 0

2010 Reblog: Expectations & Real Love

When you love someone, you want to be special to them. You want them to care about you and you want to make a difference in their life. You want to please them, to give them the kind of love you feel they deserve. You want to love them better than the last person they were with and you want them to love you just the same. But these desires all create conditions.

You gradually start feeling like the other person is telling you, “if you want to be special to me and have my love you must meet my conditions. The moment you fail to meet those conditions is the moment you will no longer be special to me.”

And so you spend your time rearranging your life to meet their conditions. There are parts of you that you hide, others you lie about. Some you shove under your bed and in the closet. Your dreams and passions that don’t meet their likes are downplayed and watered down while you slowly die inside. They tell you that they love you for who you are. Mixed messages. Do they even know who you are? It doesn’t matter. You love them. They love you. Love conquers all. You can talk about it later. All that matters right now is not losing them.

The moment you decide that you want to please the other person is the moment you chain yourself to the wall.

When you allow yourself to be chained, you give up all of your freedom to be yourself and pursue your own life.

Would you tell the one you love, “you are free to pursue your own interests and behave in whatever way you like?”

If you think that is too idealistic, think about it from another perspective. Isn’t that what we all want to hear from everyone in our life?

What if your love interest starts to develop romantic feelings for someone else? Do you tell them they’re free to pursue that?

When you’re in a relationship that meets your needs then you aren’t going to have the desire to pursue anything with anyone else. If you’re unhappy, then your mind will wander toward what you’re missing.

People are afraid to lose that kind of love, even if they are unhappy – sometimes it feels better to be unhappy than to be alone. And when problems arise, feelings aren’t shared. Everything is kept inside. They build up and up… until finally one day they come out and it seems like a shock to you when you find out things aren’t working out for the other person.

But you see, if you have open and honest communication to start with, you’ll never end up in a situation that will blindside you like that. But it’s so hard to be open and honest because everyone is fixated on gaining and holding onto the love of the other person at all costs.

“I love you for who you are” has a silent tagline of, “as long as you meet my expectations.”

The moment I learned how to love people for who they are, as they are, regardless of what they offer me or bring into my life… I saw them in a different way. I learned to love them as I love the sunset for its beauty and not for the warmth it gives me.

They no longer belong to anyone, but everyone and no one.

If you love someone, allow them to be free, to be themselves. Encourage them to pursue their own interests and live out their dreams.

Posted on by Spiritual Heretic 0

2010 Reblog: Living in the moment

By holding onto the past rather than flowing with the changes in our lives and the lives of others around us, we actually create our own discomfort and pain.

We mistakenly believe that the changes that occur separate us from what we know and love and we wonder why things have to change… why can’t things just stay the same so we can be happy? But it’s not the changes that prevent us from being happy. It’s our failure to live in the moment and accept the changes as gradual that creates our unhappiness and eventually leads to our feelings of alienation and unfamiliarity.

We spend so much time holding onto things which quickly become the past and as things gradually change around us, we don’t perceive it as gradual change. Once things start changing, we cling to how things were day and night, night and day… and while the world around us adapts to the day-to-day changes life brings us… there we are, still clinging to the past. And we cling to the past until one day we can’t cling to it anymore. And suddenly we feel alienated and unfamiliar with our surroundings. We blame the changes for these feelings but in reality they come from being unable to live in the moment and let go of attachment.

When we don’t get what we want – we suffer. When we get what we don’t want – we suffer. And even when we get exactly what we want, we still suffer because we can’t hold onto it forever. But life is full of changes and the only way for us to live a life free from longing and attachment is to accept those changes day to day, as they happen rather than staying focused on the past.

It’s much the same with people, too.

When we hold on so tightly to the image we have of someone we love that we invest all of our energy and love in them – as long as that image remains our love for them never fades – however, when people change, as they always do, we think we’ve lost the person we once loved. Really, though, we’ve only lost our ability to live in the moment and let go of the past.

It’s hard to let go of the past. That’s why living in the moment is the easiest way to live. When you never form attachments and don’t hold onto the past – you’ll never have to suffer the pain of having to let go.

Posted on by Spiritual Heretic 0