I never set out with the intention to wake up. I didn’t even know I was asleep. I just relentlessly set fire to my life until it one day I noticed a lightness of being, and an awareness that transcended my beliefs.
If waking up destroys your world (and it does), then why would anyone want to wake up?
I’m not convinced anyone wants to wake up. It’s more like they come to a point in their life where they’re dissatisfied with everything and have no choice but to wake up.
I thought being Awake meant being aware of important things like Monsanto’s conspiracy to poison the food supply, and the government’s various agendas. I thought being Awake meant seeing through all the lies within the Matrix and having the balls to do anything to break out of the Matrix, destroy my ego, raise my vibration, and free myself from delusion once and for all… to achieve unity consciousness until love oozed out of my pores… to embody love and compassion for all sentient beings and help others wake up, too!
When I actually woke up, all I could do was laugh at my former (incorrect) ideas of what it means to be Awake. It all made sense when I was asleep…
…dreams always make perfect sense until you wake up…
Was Adam Lanza a real person? Yes, he was on the SCMRPG forums most of us researchers posted on for years. But was he a real person?
Yes, we have a few photos and a random video. But was he a real person? Have you seen what AI can do to generate photos and videos of unique people that look absolutely real?
Yes, his alleged YouTube account surfaced after all these years recently, but who found it? And was he a real person?
Just look. Think about it. What doesn’t add up?
Personally, I saw telltale signs of green screened newscasters “outside” the school interviewing people. I worked in production and spotted the signs immediately.
Yes, it’s horrible to think that a tragedy might not have actually happened the way we’ve been told, or that it may not have happened at all. But that’s not the point.
The story… doesn’t add up.
https://www.sandyhooked.net/
Why does anyone research Columbine, anyway? Who knows. I can’t tell you what drove me to read 35,000 pages of documents multiple times, cataloguing the contents, and studying the details. Years ago I would say it was about the children who died and preventing future incidents and all that, but that isn’t the real reason. That was what interested me about the case, but researching Columbine turned out to be the koan that sent me hurdling into reality and out of the dream at breakneck speed against my will.
I didn’t know that’s what was happening until I flew off the cliff into nothingness forever. Whoops. Wrong turn? Not a chance. There are no wrong turns.
Some people would find it morbid to know that some of us have spent more time staring at the shooters’ dead, bloody bodies than we have spent doing homework. No matter. You either understand or you don’t. You can’t convince anyone of an experience they haven’t had, which is why I don’t expect many (if any at all) to understand this post.
Staring at the dead, bloody bodies of the Columbine shooters is one way to launch yourself into an awakening you don’t-know-you-don’t-want-but-can’t-avoid-because-you-have-no-choice. Dead bodies. Blood. Gore. Suicide. Death. Reality. Reality. Reality. Read that again – REALITY.
Huh.
Death is a reality.
“What if Eric had graduated, would he have gone on to become a famous video game designer? Do you think the creators of DOOM would have welcomed him on the team?”
Who cares, he’s dead, lying in a pool of his own blood with the top of his head blown off from a self-inflicted shotgun blast through the roof of his mouth.
Imagine that. You stick a loaded shotgun in your mouth and pull the trigger. Hard to imagine, right? Really. When you look at Eric lying on the ground, put yourself in his position and imagine you’ve just done the unthinkable and you’re done. You’re going to cause your own death. You won’t be opening up the refrigerator tomorrow to look for a can of Coke or a slice of pie. You don’t know where the fuck you’re going or if you’ll even exist. You just know you’re done.
Imagine every detail of pulling the trigger. The initial feeling of blowing your own head off with a shotgun shell traveling through the roof of your mouth, blowing off the top of your head. How long do you feel before your brain cuts off? Everyone says this type of suicide ends a life “instantly,” but how can anyone really know? Nobody knows. Nobody knows anything.
And Dylan. Imagine you’re him, you just witnessed your sort-of best friend blow his head off and now it’s your turn. Do you hesitate? Why? You don’t want to live anymore and you’ve just done the unthinkable. If you don’t kill yourself now, you’ll spend the rest of your life in jail in misery.
Does the biological impulse of survival kick in? Or do you just pull the trigger?
Put yourself in Dylan’s shoes. If you don’t believe he killed himself, set that belief aside for a moment and just think. You’re kneeling in front of your friend who just blew his head off. You’ve got a TEC-DC9M aimed at your left temple. You pull the trigger and fall to the floor. After a brief moment, you roll over onto your back where you cough and drown in your own blood.
Maybe you should have used your shotgun.
What does that feel like? To die so terribly? To have a bullet rip through your brain and not even die right away?
Feel it, imagine you are him and feel every moment of it.
Now do the same with every person they killed that day. Imagine being every single victim and experience dying over and over and over again.
I bet you won’t do it.
Death is too much, too horrific, too… taboo. It’s something to sweep under the carpet and ignore. Yet, people die every day from injuries far worse than what landed Eric and Dylan on that library floor on April 20, 1999.
Death is reality. And you can’t see who you are and where you are without embracing death.
If you want to know what life is all about, carry a laminated copy of their dead bodies with you everywhere you go. You have to invite death to the breakfast table, the movies, your best friend’s birthday party. Stare at the photos every chance you get.
When you stare enough, one day, reality will become obvious. But that’s not where the journey ends. That’s just where it begins.
Once you realize what reality is, there’s an adjustment period.
What can researching Columbine tell you about yourself?
As you read the 11k pages of witness testimony, you’ll see a pattern emerge that shows memory to be faulty. It’s tempting to view discrepancies as some kind of “cover-up,” but that’s a treacherous path that will leads you into the weeds.
Human memory is extremely faulty and vulnerable to suggestion. Research hard enough and you’ll see that witnesses heard similar, but different things and their subsequent interviews began morphing into one snowball of an identical story after they conversed with one another.
Witness testimony is like a game of telephone.
If you’ve noticed this, did you ever stop to question your own memory? Like “wow, maybe my memory isn’t so great. What if things didn’t really happen the way I thought they did when I was in school? Maybe people didn’t hate me as much as I thought they did. Maybe I created a story that morphed over time into something that didn’t actually happen the way I remember…”
What if your narrative of Columbine is inaccurate simply because your memory, along with witness’ memory, is faulty. What if what you believe happened before, during, and after Columbine is not true, but a story woven together by the fabric of thousands of faulty memories, including witnesses, police, victims, parents, and community members?
What if…
Can you question “what really happened” regardless of where it takes you? That what happened is irrelevant?
How many times have you changed your perception or views about Columbine and what happened before, during, and after?
If you haven’t changed your views and been SHOCKED at discovering major truths you can’t believe you missed, you haven’t investigated objectively. You’re stuck in judgment, viewing the case through the lens of your personal bias.
Witness testimony is fodder for stories that will take you further from TRUTH. When you dismantle your stories about Columbine by seeking TRUTH (which cannot be found in witness testimony), it will give you a template by which to investigate your own life, which is really the only thing that matters.
Let the dead bury the dead. You want to wake up from the dream. You want to dissolve your own stories and narratives in your personal life until you reach a point where you see the world differently and more clearly because you’ve realized how many errors you’ve made because of wrong perception and faulty memory.
Researching the details of Columbine serve but one purpose: to facilitate a profound inner transformation. It’s not WHAT you find that matters. It’s the process.
Ultimately, researching Columbine isn’t about what happened that day or what led up to the massacre or where each shell landed and who said what in the library. It’s about you, researching. It’s the invisible, undetected zen koan that life has thrown in your path that you have yet to recognize as the catalyst for personal transformation… your personality is driven with an insatiable need to devour the investigation, but what your soul really wants is to use the process to destroy your own ego (identity).
Given enough time, that’s exactly what it will do… when you’re willing to stare at those bloody, dead bodies lying on the library floor.
Life is suffering, period.
Everyone is attempting to escape inherent suffering through temporary pleasure. This is why various teachers tell their students desire is the root of suffering. Technically, desire doesn’t create suffering – it merely perpetuates suffering and postpones liberation.
We are surrounded by distractions that keep us from noticing the reality that life is suffering. Every pleasure is simply an attempt to relieve that suffering, even if just for a moment.
We’re constantly seeking that temporary relief through food, goals, hobbies, jobs, tasks, money, status, fame, meditation, creating your reality (which always fails), and even seemingly humble tasks like feeding hungry people and sheltering the homeless, and you know, performing “random acts of kindness” and “paying it forward.”
How the fuck did society manage to commercialize humility?
The first step is to wipe that whipped cream off your cow pies and acknowledge the truth – that life is absolute misery and we’re all pretending it’s wonderful or has the potential to be wonderful. It doesn’t. Wonderful comes only in fleeting moments and nothing more.
The second step is to stop and look around… where are you? Where are we?
Where are we, really? Who created this world? God? Perhaps. However, it’s not God who rules this world.
Even a quick glance through the Old Testament reveals that Satan is the ruler of this world. If you pay close enough attention, you’ll notice that Jehovah is really Satan. That’s right, the “god” of the Old Testament is Satan, not the creator God whom Yeshua talks about in the New Testament.
Some people don’t understand the reason Yeshua was sent to Earth just to die when God could simply save everyone and skip the nonsense in-between. You know, that whole Judas-the-traitor and bloody sacrifice stuff.
If God is omnipotent, why would he need to create a sacrifice? People wonder, “why would God send himself to Earth to sacrifice himself TO himself… to save people from himself?”
Yeah, that sounds batshit crazy. And it would be, if that’s what was going on. However, God didn’t sacrifice himself (as Yeshua) to himself. He sacrificed Yeshua to Satan. The true creator God is not in control of this world. This is not His world. This is Satan’s world. It runs according to Satan’s rules. Man is bound, in the flesh, to Satan’s rules.
Yeshua’s sacrifice seems strange when you believe Jehovah is the creator God. However, once you realize Jehovah is Satan, it makes perfect sense.
Jehovah, Satan, is the one who enjoys the smell of burning flesh and demands constant blood sacrifice. It’s Jehovah/Satan who is the ruler of this world, not the creator God.
Yeshua was not God’s sacrifice to himself, but was a sacrifice to the LORD, who is Jehovah/Satan. We are trapped in a world that is ruled by Satan, and blood sacrifice is the only language Satan speaks.
The true creator God made a deal with Satan/Jehovah, and provided the ultimate sacrifice (Yeshua) in exchange for providing man with a way out of this evil world. That is why it’s said that “Jesus is the only way.” Because we are literally trapped in Satan’s kingdom with no escape.
The “mark of the beast” is not 666
If you look at the original Greek manuscript for Revelation 13:18 – it was written in Greek – you won’t find the “mark of the beast” as “666.” What you’ll find are three Greek symbols: Chi Xi Sigma/Stigma. (Sigma and Stigma are pronounced the same).
In Greek gematria, Chi Xi Sigma is represented by the numbers 600, 60, and 6, which equals 666. This distinction matters immensely because “Chi Xi Sigma” was the common symbol used to represent “Jesus Christ.”
Yep, the mark of the beast from Revelation is the symbol for Jesus Christ.
What?? Hold on.
Jesus Christ is the “beast” spoken about in Revelation. But not in the way you might think. It’s not that Jesus (Yeshua) is the beast and all who worship Christ and take his mark will perish.
The symbol of Christ (Chi Xi Sigma) is not just another name for Jesus Christ – in Greek, it represents Christ’s death/sacrifice. The sacrifice Christ made is denoted as the beast, not Jesus himself. Chi Xi Sigma, as the beast, represents man, who has lost his way.
The mark of the beast – 666 – Chi Xi Sigma – represents what Yeshua died for: man using his own strength for self-gratification, doing things his way, trying to control his life and his world, rather than following God the creator.
When you try to control your life rather than giving all the glory to God, you are a slave to the beast of revelation that will keep you forever trapped in Satan’s world.
However, you won’t find the true creator God in the Bible. In the Old Testament, you’ll find Satan posing as Jehova, destroying everything and everyone.
In the New Testament, you’ll find Yeshua talking about his “father, who art in heaven.”
You have to study the parables on multiple levels to understand what Yeshua is talking about. Or, go inside yourself and find out first-hand what he’s talking about.
The “powers that be” only use “666” to create fear
The “global elite” people talk about today, who use the Bible, including Revelation and the number “666” are only using it to create fear and panic. There is no mark of the beast coming to the world.
Revelation does say that man can’t buy or sell without taking the mark of the beast. However, it’s not a physical mark. The mark of the beast (Chi Xi Sigma) is literally man’s carnal nature. To buy or sell is to indulge in self-gratification, automatically. If you are buying and selling, you are participating in the beast system that is man’s carnal nature.
You simply can’t buy or sell without participating in the self-gratification of consumerism and materialism. The idea of money itself is a beast system. When you buy and sell, you automatically participate in the self-gratification and materialism.
There will come a time when nobody can buy or sell without some kind of digital passport, but that’s not “the mark.” The mark is your allegiance to the system that creates and perpetuates self-gratification and materialism, the carnal nature of man and his desire to fulfill all of his desires and control his life and his world.
Control is the beast. Taking credit for your life is allegiance to the beast.
What about the right hand and forehead?
What about the mark of the beast being in the right hand or forehead? This is pretty easy to see. The mark of the beast is Chi Xi Sigma – the symbol of Yeshua’s sacrifice – which is represented by a cross. Roman Catholics cross themselves with their right hand and receive a mark (a cross/characterem) on the forehead for Ash Wednesday.
I’m going to piss off some Catholics here, but no organization (other than the freemasons) has closer ties to Satanism than the Roman Catholic church.
PS: have you noticed that man is made of carbon, and carbon has 6 protons, 6 electrons, and 6 neutrons? How interesting…
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“Satan, the ruler of this world, will be cast out.” (John 12:31)
“Jesus said, ‘The ruler of this world approaches. He has no power over me.’” (John 14:30)
“Satan, who is the god of this world, has blinded the minds of those who don’t believe the Gospel.” (2 Corinthians 4:4)
“We are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil spiritual rulers and authorities, and against mighty powers in this dark world.” (Ephesians 6:12)
“We know that the world around us is under the control of the evil one.” (1 John 5:19) “Who can win this battle against the world? Only those who believe that Jesus is the Son of God.” (1 John 5:5)
“Jesus gave his life for our sins, just as God our Father planned, in order to rescue us from this evil world in which we live.” (Galatians 1:4)
“The world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world. And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever.” (1 John 2:16-17)
Bonding through shared contempt for another is dangerous. It’s even more dangerous when facilitated by the leader of a group.
Be discerning with what you’re being asked to align with under the guise of ‘support.’
Supporting one person should never include nor require condemning another. Such foundations for relationships are quicksand.
New age groups and teachers have convinced thousands of people that the ultimate goal in life is to attain “Christ consciousness.” They say that Jesus Christ, whether he was a real person or a symbol, came to Earth and realized he was God – someone all-powerful, capable of expressing superpowers, and doing anything he put his mind to achieve.
And, they say, our goal is to achieve the same – to realize that we, too, are God. To realize that we are all powerful Gods and are here to create everything good we desire for our lives.
Oh, it sounds good, but nothing could be further from the truth.
Have these “new agers” actually read the Bible? No, but they have sound bytes. You know, quotes and stories taken out of context that get repeated over and over. Some of those stories aren’t actually even in the Bible.
The new age Jesus is not the same Jesus in the Bible. The new age Jesus has been created to be a symbol of self-serving, individualistic ideology. The new age Jesus says, “you are God and therefore have a duty to create your materialistic dreams! Achieve Christ consciousness and you’ll get everything you want in this world! Money, fame, power, a house, a car, anything!”
The new age Jesus is a symbol of how man can overcome his own humanity and rise above being a vulnerable human and get everything he wants, including immortality, health, wealth, and physical resources. Whatever you need, bro, just start meditating and develop a Christ consciousness and you’ll be covered.
New age Jesus isn’t the Biblical Jesus
The new age story of Jesus isn’t in the Bible. Jesus Christ didn’t come to Earth and realize he was God. He came to Earth and humbled himself completely and embraced being a lowly human being. He didn’t try to “be like God,” and he never told anyone else to “be like God.” He did and taught exactly the opposite.
“In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
by becoming obedient to death—
even death on a cross!”
Philippians 2:5-8
Jesus knew he was God, but didn’t use that knowledge to his advantage to gain anything.
Jesus didn’t try to get ahead materially in the world.
Jesus didn’t even avoid his own death, attempting to achieve immortality – he already knew he was immortal. He allowed himself to die as a human being.
Now, what is Christ consciousness, really?
You judge someone not when you assess their position, but when you dismiss them as a person.
Judging isn’t telling someone they are in error, judging is something you do after you tell someone they are in error.
Judging is casting someone off after you tell them they are in error.
Jesus brought people closer after telling them they were in error.
That is righteous judgment.
Arguments on the internet be like:
InTeRwEbZ: “I know there’s a fish in the box!”
Me: “But you haven’t opened the box, how do you know?”
InTeRwEbZ: “I designed the device that inserts fish into boxes at the factory.”
Me: “But you don’t personally insert the fish into boxes and people say they’ve opened boxes without fish inside. There’s something fishy going on, I don’t think there are fish in every box.”
InTeRwEbZ: “Oh, there are. I have a degree in fishology. And my device was specifically crafted to put fish in boxes, therefore every box contains a fish.”
Me: “Unless you opened the box, you don’t actually know what’s in the box. The box closer might tell you they put a fish in the box, but unless you open that box and look for yourself, the contents are unknown.”
InTeRwEbZ: “That’s not a fact, facts have sources, what are your sources? You’re making assumptions!”
Me: “I’m stating facts, you’re assuming the fish is in the box when you haven’t verified this for yourself.”
InTeRwEbZ: “No, you’re the one making assumptions based on things outside your area of expertise.”
Scotty, beam me up already, I’ve landed on the wrong f-ing planet.
Like This Post If You Want To Throw Your Laptop Lifestyle Out The Window!
As I write this, I’m sitting at my kitchen table gulping down the last swig of some freshly juiced oranges from the farmer’s market. And, in a single moment of regret, I realize my error: I should have walked across the street to take a selfie on the beach against the golden rays of the setting sun, orange juice in hand.
What was I thinking? What kind of entrepreneur lives across the street from the beach and doesn’t post selfies of sand, sunsets, legs, and laptops?
Well, this entrepreneur right here. Me.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, my legs are a little bit hairy but I just don’t have time to post selfies in the sand. I’m too busy deconstructing the lie of ultimate freedom called “Entrepreneurship.”
Clever marketers are selling the dream of entrepreneurship
We’ve all seen the ads on Facebook:
How I Made $500,000 My First Week In Business
Make 6 Figures Working 5 Hours Per Year
Start Raking In $10,000/Minute With This Simple Trick
How To Live The Laptop Lifestyle
And on, and on…
I’m going to share a secret with you that isn’t so much a secret. Titles like these are clickbait. They’re created by clever copywriters to get your attention and make you click. I would know, I’ve been writing them for years.
The truth is, nobody really makes $500,000 their first week in business, or rakes in $10,000/minute with a simple trick. And it doesn’t take long to discover there is no trick on the other side of that link. The only trick is that you’ve been duped into clicking on it. Nothing new here, Henry.
Marketers know what you want, and use that to get you to click on their ad so you’ll give them your email address in exchange for downloading their free e-book that took them an hour to create – an e-book that doesn’t tell you anything truly useful. It’s usually just a compilation of general information.
For the consumer, these e-books are given fancy titles like, “The Ultimate Guide to Getting Everything You Want in Life.” And to the marketer, these e-books are simply called “lead magnets.” And that’s really all they are – magnets to suck you into giving away your email address so someone can sell you a bunch of shit.
Marketers are giving you these free e-books just to get your email address so they can drop you into a drip-fed email marketing campaign in an attempt to create rapport with you, hoping you’ll eventually buy their high-ticket items.
And if you’re an entrepreneur, specifically an internet marketer, you’re the perfect customer (or sucker). The biggest section of the internet marketing industry markets to other marketers. But the irony is that most people who consider themselves internet markets are really just consumers caught up in a fabricated world they’ve been unknowingly sucked into.
As an internet marketer, how many systems, tools, and techniques do you need to buy before you realize you’ve been sold?
Internet Marketing is a Pyramid Scheme
Internet marketing is a self-referencing, self-sustaining pyramid scheme in the shape of a circle. I say it’s a pyramid scheme because the money never leaves the industry, it’s just shuffled around between marketers.
One guy at the top creates The Ultimate Marketing Guide For Entrepreneurs and sells it to anyone who will pay $97. All the people who buy it begin using the strategies outlined inside, until they reach Tip #8 which explains that the real money comes from selling downloadable guides and digital content. So, they make their own guides and digital content and sell it to anyone who will pay $97. And the cycle continues.
The entire internet marketing industry exists to sell tools to internet marketers so they can get better at selling tools to people who want to market their products on the internet. The big money in internet marketing isn’t found by selling marketing strategies directly to business owners (the people who really need help). That’s because you can’t mass-produce marketing strategies that actually work for every business in every industry.
For example, the only way to make massive money selling internet marketing techniques is to mass produce it as digital content and then sell downloads on a continual basis. If you want to help individual businesses with marketing you not only need to know the industry really well, but you also need to be an expert in marketing. And if you’re an expert in marketing you know you can’t mass produce systems that will work for any business.
By default, the only thing internet marketers are successful at is selling to other internet marketers who want to sell to other internet marketers.
At the top of the pyramid you have the heavy hitters who make their money selling tools to small fish. But they didn’t achieve their success by using the tools they’re selling—they achieved their success by selling the tools.
It’s like the stock market. The internet marketers at the top are telling everyone what works and what doesn’t. They’re dictating to us what’s effective, and what’s not. And we’re buying it. So we go with it.
They literally set up the market just so they can keep selling us products. Meanwhile, the techniques they’re selling us for $97 aren’t the techniques they’re actually using. They’re not even using the techniques they’re selling to us. There’s only one technique they’re using and that’s basic psychology.
“I had a client who sold his kidney to pay for my services,” a marketer once told me.
“Freedom is priceless,” said another.
They’ll say anything to make you believe that your investment today is going to somehow create your ultimate future. And it won’t. Because it’s all bullshit.
If the value of stocks is determined by the actions of the traders (and it is), then just like the stock market, the value of internet marketing information is determined by the people who buy it. As long as we keep buying these strategies, they stay in power and at the top.
When you become an internet marketer, you may as well just put everyone’s name in a hat and draw names to find out who gets your money this month. You’re all just trading it back and forth with each other. Now that would give you a legitimate 4-minute workweek.
And who can argue with courses claiming to give you more freedom? Freedom isn’t even measurable because it’s so abstract. What does that even mean?
And we’re all mesmerized by the idea that entrepreneurship takes endless hard work and time, that even when we don’t get the results we hoped for, we chalk it up to the process. Nothing happens instantly, you know. Keep pushing. Keep swimming in the minutia of statistics, reports, measurements, CTR, conversion rates, and don’t stop.
If you keep pushing, you’ll get there. Where? Who knows, just keep going.
We don’t think for a moment that the entire world of internet marketing is a giant rouse.
Entrepreneurship (n): Glorified Self-Employment. Also Known As A 24/7 J-O-B
I began freelancing long before the term “Laptop Lifestyle” was a Facebook ad cliché. In fact, I started freelancing before Facebook even existed. I lived the ‘Laptop Lifestyle’ with a Compaq Presario that could barely connect to the Internet with my 14.4 dialup modem through AOL. Ahh, that was the life.
As an entrepreneur, I was free to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Or so I thought. At the time, I had no idea I wasn’t really doing what I wanted to do, and I wasn’t really free. I was a slave to my laptop instead of a cubicle, a desk and a boss.
How did I convince myself I loved what I did, when I really hated every moment of it?
I saw the potential for big money. Really, that’s all it was. I knew my skills were “worth a lot of money” and I was willing to use those skills to create a business and generate clients.
You may be thinking, ‘what’s wrong with a 24/7 J-O-B if you love what you do? If you love it, then it’s not work!’
Let’s be real… you don’t really love what you do for a living… and if you won the lottery tomorrow you’d drop it like it’s hot. You love it because it brings you money.
You Don’t Want The Laptop Lifestyle – You Want To Go Play At The Beach
Let’s be completely honest here. Nobody really wants to live the ‘laptop lifestyle.’ They only say they want to because they believe they have to work, so if they’re going to have to work they may as well work on the beach.
But who wants to work? Nobody. And on the beach? Laptops and sand don’t mix very well. And I don’t know about you, but no matter how deeply I buried my power cord in the sand, it didn’t power up my MacBook Pro when the battery died.
Why do you want to live the laptop lifestyle promoted in ads? If you look hard enough, you’ll see that it’s a trap. Not because it’s impossible, but because you’ve been sold a dream that nobody really lives. Sure, they live it on Facebook—but that’s not real life. Not even close.
The “laptop lifestyle” is a very limiting lifestyle when what you really want is not to have to work at all. I mean, really, let’s be honest here. Who in their right mind wants to work? Nobody. And there’s nothing wrong with admitting that. It’s actually quite natural.
We are not here to work in the manner we’ve established through society’s institutions. Of course we don’t want to do something that sucks our soul day after day and barely allows us time to ourselves. But you’d have to be cray-cray to actually want to work.
We’re spending our lives, every day, every hour calculating ways to make more money, maximize our profits, increase numbers, force that graph line to go up… what the fuck for? Who the fuck cares?
I’m going to tell you a very short story that will blow your mind.
Once upon a time, I built a website with invalid, broken code, high-contrast white text on a black background with Comic Sans copy, layered iframes on every page, heavy JavaScript, heavy Flash animation, poorly made images instead of text, and I had exactly two backlinks to Geocities websites. I couldn’t make up my mind, so I changed the layout weekly, including constantly rearranging the navigation menu. You may remember this website as DylanKlebold.com. (Yeah… sorry about that).
Still, this website dominated the search engines for over ten years for every term in my niche. I had over a million hits per month with 3,000 active posters on my discussion forum. I deleted the website for 2 years and when I put it back up it regained an instant 300,000 unique monthly visitors. I could not kill this website no matter how hard I tried. It was like a zombie that just wouldn’t die.
I didn’t have an email list. I never replied to emails half the time. And everyone was constantly asking to buy things from me and I just didn’t want to bother. The more people bugged me, the more annoyed I got. So, I finally gave in and started selling stuff at cost just to keep people happy. I didn’t want a business—I wanted to share information.
I had effortless success with this hard-to-navigate, eyesore of a website and yet, so many people run around looking for magic courses to teach them how to build a website and get traffic.
Here’s the truth: your site doesn’t need to be pretty, and if you’re struggling to find ways to get traffic, or if you keep buying courses, attending webinars, etc. you’re in the wrong business.
If you’re struggling like this, you are a consumer, but you think you’re an entrepreneur. The real entrepreneurs have made a business out of selling things to wanna-be entrepreneurs who get just enough success to think they’re onto something. But they’re just reselling the same thing everyone else is selling and the person who can package it (market it) the best, wins.
That’s all it is. That’s the entire game in a nutshell.
Real entrepreneurs have something unique, different, and innovative to offer the world. They are not consultants or coaches and whatever other nebulous titles people use these days. If you’re selling advice, tips, and strategies to people to help them build their business, you’re not really selling anything unique. Even if your clients achieve mega success, you’re still boring.
Your product probably sucks, or you really don’t care about it. You’re not doing what you’re passionate about. You’re doing what you think you’re passionate about because you think that being passionate about it will bring you money. It doesn’t work that way. Only your contribution matters.
And why bother selling tools to people to increase their sales when they’re selling more nonsense that people don’t need? More minutia for the world to get lost in? That’s not a contribution. But hey, you slayed your bounce rate, you increased your conversion rate, and your PPC ad conversions are off the charts! Go you.
I was in my early 20’s when I noticed something was terribly wrong with what we call “having a job and going to work.”
I started working at the age of fifteen, and had a natural repulsion to getting up early, dressing up in an uncomfortable uniform, giving up my day to let someone boss me around in exchange for not enough money to survive, and then going home exhausted. I was told that’s how the world works, and if I didn’t participate I’d end up homeless and starving on the streets. That made me angry, and I knew it wasn’t true, but I didn’t know there were other options so I played along.
Like everyone else I knew, I had been conditioned to believe my natural repulsion to having a job was really just laziness. Everyone else got up to go to work in the morning. What made me so special that I thought I could avoid it?
I always found it odd that that people in history didn’t have jobs like we do today. Nobody in my history books ever left their house to travel an hour to a far away place where they labored all day and night in a stuffy cubicle just to bring home a weekly paycheck that barely paid for food. It just wasn’t part of their day. When people had a job, it was on their own farm, or they ran a local business in town.
At the time, I had yet to learn that jobs were just a synthetic construction of life on Earth that had been created as an extension of the school system designed to produce obedient factory workers to dumb down the world. But, that’s another story—one better told by John Taylor Gatto.
Not wanting to be seen as lazy, I kept pushing forward. For over a decade I got up between 3 and 4am, went to work, came home exhausted, fell asleep watching television, and got up the next day to do it all over again. I lived for my days off, which were unpredictably inconsistent. I had all kinds of plans for what I would do on my days off—except I was always too tired to do anything. So I did nothing.
I repeated this cycle until I was 29 years old when I decided to be my own boss.
After I got tired of dealing with clients, I didn’t know what to do, so I went back to working for a big corporation in exchange for a regular paycheck. It was a more comfortable false sense of security.
Entrepreneurship is still bondage in the system
I came to recognize the same pattern of bondage in the world of entrepreneurship—something that was supposed to generate freedom. Of course, I wondered if maybe I just wasn’t doing that whole “success” thing correctly. However, when I explored what it would be like to achieve Richard Branson’s level of success, I still came up empty handed.
Who the fuck cares?
When I set my income goal at $2,000/month, I thought I was going to feel great.
When I achieved that goal, I was still struggling.
When I set my income goal at $3,000/month, I thought I was finally going to feel satisfaction.
When I achieved that goal, I was still struggling.
When I set my income goal for $6,500/month, I thought, aha! I just never set my goal high enough!
… when I achieved that goal, I was no longer struggling, but I didn’t care.
Society says I should set another goal, perhaps $10,000/month.
Why bother?
Who the fuck cares?
The entire system is fucked.
I’m happier tending to my garden than being forced to make money to participate in a warped society focused on consumerism, materialism, and other nonsense. It’s a joke. And the joke’s on us because we accept it as normal from cradle to grave. Oh, but we try to incorporate nature into our materialistic lives. Every once in a while, we go on a hike out on a trail or go boating. You know, to maintain balance in our lives.
When the awakening process began to take over what I thought was “my” life, I didn’t care if I had a hundred trillion billion dollars and everyone fell at my feet when I walked out my front door. I didn’t care if I had my dream car, my dream house, or all the latest technological gadgets to play with. Furthermore, I didn’t even care if I was genius enough to cure every cancer in the world, end world hunger, stop every war, and save the planet from pollution.
Nothing, and I mean nothing mattered if I didn’t know first hand who I really am—beyond the programmed personality. Beyond the system of distraction called money, school, work, job, entrepreneurship, bullshit, rinse, repeat.
So, I did what any sane entrepreneur would do—I threw my laptop lifestyle out the window.
Bye, Felicia.