I can’t say I’d recommend this journey of waking up unless you want to be thrown off a cliff with no parachute, forced to manifest the fabric and skills to make one before hitting rock bottom. However, birds don’t learn to fly until they’re pushed out of the nest right?
What I’ve experienced that got me to this vantage point (for lack of a better term) in life isn’t a collection of more, better, or different beliefs – it’s actually the stripping away of existing beliefs that led me here. I didn’t choose anything; it’s what was left by default when my beliefs, dreams, and identities were stripped away.
(Side note: When I tell mean people to ‘jump off a cliff,’ I’m not telling them to commit physical suicide. I’m telling them to kill their identity, but they never seem to get the joke).
I never set out with the intention to wake up. I didn’t even know I was asleep. I just relentlessly set fire to my life until it one day I noticed a lightness of being, and an awareness that transcended my beliefs.
If waking up destroys your world (and it does), then why would anyone want to wake up?
I’m not convinced anyone wants to wake up. It’s more like they come to a point in their life where they’re dissatisfied with everything and have no choice but to wake up.
I thought being Awake meant being aware of important things like Monsanto’s conspiracy to poison the food supply, and the government’s various agendas. I thought being Awake meant seeing through all the lies within the Matrix and having the balls to do anything to break out of the Matrix, destroy my ego, raise my vibration, and free myself from delusion once and for all… to achieve unity consciousness until love oozed out of my pores… to embody love and compassion for all sentient beings and help others wake up, too!
When I actually woke up, all I could do was laugh at my former (incorrect) ideas of what it means to be Awake. It all made sense when I was asleep…
…dreams always make perfect sense until you wake up…
Was Adam Lanza a real person? Yes, he was on the SCMRPG forums most of us researchers posted on for years. But was he a real person?
Yes, we have a few photos and a random video. But was he a real person? Have you seen what AI can do to generate photos and videos of unique people that look absolutely real?
Yes, his alleged YouTube account surfaced after all these years recently, but who found it? And was he a real person?
Just look. Think about it. What doesn’t add up?
Personally, I saw telltale signs of green screened newscasters “outside” the school interviewing people. I worked in production and spotted the signs immediately.
Yes, it’s horrible to think that a tragedy might not have actually happened the way we’ve been told, or that it may not have happened at all. But that’s not the point.
Why does anyone research Columbine, anyway? Who knows. I can’t tell you what drove me to read 35,000 pages of documents multiple times, cataloguing the contents, and studying the details. Years ago I would say it was about the children who died and preventing future incidents and all that, but that isn’t the real reason. That was what interested me about the case, but researching Columbine turned out to be the koan that sent me hurdling into reality and out of the dream at breakneck speed against my will.
I didn’t know that’s what was happening until I flew off the cliff into nothingness forever. Whoops. Wrong turn? Not a chance. There are no wrong turns.
Some people would find it morbid to know that some of us have spent more time staring at the shooters’ dead, bloody bodies than we have spent doing homework. No matter. You either understand or you don’t. You can’t convince anyone of an experience they haven’t had, which is why I don’t expect many (if any at all) to understand this post.
Staring at the dead, bloody bodies of the Columbine shooters is one way to launch yourself into an awakening you don’t-know-you-don’t-want-but-can’t-avoid-because-you-have-no-choice. Dead bodies. Blood. Gore. Suicide. Death. Reality. Reality. Reality. Read that again – REALITY.
Huh.
Death is a reality.
“What if Eric had graduated, would he have gone on to become a famous video game designer? Do you think the creators of DOOM would have welcomed him on the team?”
Who cares, he’s dead, lying in a pool of his own blood with the top of his head blown off from a self-inflicted shotgun blast through the roof of his mouth.
Imagine that. You stick a loaded shotgun in your mouth and pull the trigger. Hard to imagine, right? Really. When you look at Eric lying on the ground, put yourself in his position and imagine you’ve just done the unthinkable and you’re done. You’re going to cause your own death. You won’t be opening up the refrigerator tomorrow to look for a can of Coke or a slice of pie. You don’t know where the fuck you’re going or if you’ll even exist. You just know you’re done.
Imagine every detail of pulling the trigger. The initial feeling of blowing your own head off with a shotgun shell traveling through the roof of your mouth, blowing off the top of your head. How long do you feel before your brain cuts off? Everyone says this type of suicide ends a life “instantly,” but how can anyone really know? Nobody knows. Nobody knows anything.
And Dylan. Imagine you’re him, you just witnessed your sort-of best friend blow his head off and now it’s your turn. Do you hesitate? Why? You don’t want to live anymore and you’ve just done the unthinkable. If you don’t kill yourself now, you’ll spend the rest of your life in jail in misery.
Does the biological impulse of survival kick in? Or do you just pull the trigger?
Put yourself in Dylan’s shoes. If you don’t believe he killed himself, set that belief aside for a moment and just think. You’re kneeling in front of your friend who just blew his head off. You’ve got a TEC-DC9M aimed at your left temple. You pull the trigger and fall to the floor. After a brief moment, you roll over onto your back where you cough and drown in your own blood.
Maybe you should have used your shotgun.
What does that feel like? To die so terribly? To have a bullet rip through your brain and not even die right away?
Feel it, imagine you are him and feel every moment of it.
Now do the same with every person they killed that day. Imagine being every single victim and experience dying over and over and over again.
I bet you won’t do it.
Death is too much, too horrific, too… taboo. It’s something to sweep under the carpet and ignore. Yet, people die every day from injuries far worse than what landed Eric and Dylan on that library floor on April 20, 1999.
Death is reality. And you can’t see who you are and where you are without embracing death.
If you want to know what life is all about, carry a laminated copy of their dead bodies with you everywhere you go. You have to invite death to the breakfast table, the movies, your best friend’s birthday party. Stare at the photos every chance you get.
When you stare enough, one day, reality will become obvious. But that’s not where the journey ends. That’s just where it begins.
Once you realize what reality is, there’s an adjustment period.
What can researching Columbine tell you about yourself?
As you read the 11k pages of witness testimony, you’ll see a pattern emerge that shows memory to be faulty. It’s tempting to view discrepancies as some kind of “cover-up,” but that’s a treacherous path that will leads you into the weeds.
Human memory is extremely faulty and vulnerable to suggestion. Research hard enough and you’ll see that witnesses heard similar, but different things and their subsequent interviews began morphing into one snowball of an identical story after they conversed with one another.
Witness testimony is like a game of telephone.
If you’ve noticed this, did you ever stop to question your own memory? Like “wow, maybe my memory isn’t so great. What if things didn’t really happen the way I thought they did when I was in school? Maybe people didn’t hate me as much as I thought they did. Maybe I created a story that morphed over time into something that didn’t actually happen the way I remember…”
What if your narrative of Columbine is inaccurate simply because your memory, along with witness’ memory, is faulty. What if what you believe happened before, during, and after Columbine is not true, but a story woven together by the fabric of thousands of faulty memories, including witnesses, police, victims, parents, and community members?
What if…
Can you question “what really happened” regardless of where it takes you? That what happened is irrelevant?
How many times have you changed your perception or views about Columbine and what happened before, during, and after?
If you haven’t changed your views and been SHOCKED at discovering major truths you can’t believe you missed, you haven’t investigated objectively. You’re stuck in judgment, viewing the case through the lens of your personal bias.
Witness testimony is fodder for stories that will take you further from TRUTH. When you dismantle your stories about Columbine by seeking TRUTH (which cannot be found in witness testimony), it will give you a template by which to investigate your own life, which is really the only thing that matters.
Let the dead bury the dead. You want to wake up from the dream. You want to dissolve your own stories and narratives in your personal life until you reach a point where you see the world differently and more clearly because you’ve realized how many errors you’ve made because of wrong perception and faulty memory.
Researching the details of Columbine serve but one purpose: to facilitate a profound inner transformation. It’s not WHAT you find that matters. It’s the process.
Ultimately, researching Columbine isn’t about what happened that day or what led up to the massacre or where each shell landed and who said what in the library. It’s about you, researching. It’s the invisible, undetected zen koan that life has thrown in your path that you have yet to recognize as the catalyst for personal transformation… your personality is driven with an insatiable need to devour the investigation, but what your soul really wants is to use the process to destroy your own ego (identity).
Given enough time, that’s exactly what it will do… when you’re willing to stare at those bloody, dead bodies lying on the library floor.
Everyone is attempting to escape inherent suffering through temporary pleasure. This is why various teachers tell their students desire is the root of suffering. Technically, desire doesn’t create suffering – it merely perpetuates suffering and postpones liberation.
We are surrounded by distractions that keep us from noticing the reality that life is suffering. Every pleasure is simply an attempt to relieve that suffering, even if just for a moment.
We’re constantly seeking that temporary relief through food, goals, hobbies, jobs, tasks, money, status, fame, meditation, creating your reality (which always fails), and even seemingly humble tasks like feeding hungry people and sheltering the homeless, and you know, performing “random acts of kindness” and “paying it forward.”
How the fuck did society manage to commercialize humility?
The first step is to wipe that whipped cream off your cow pies and acknowledge the truth – that life is absolute misery and we’re all pretending it’s wonderful or has the potential to be wonderful. It doesn’t. Wonderful comes only in fleeting moments and nothing more.
The second step is to stop and look around… where are you? Where are we?
Where are we, really? Who created this world? God? Perhaps. However, it’s not God who rules this world.
Even a quick glance through the Old Testament reveals that Satan is the ruler of this world. If you pay close enough attention, you’ll notice that Jehovah is really Satan. That’s right, the “god” of the Old Testament is Satan, not the creator God whom Yeshua talks about in the New Testament.
Some people don’t understand the reason Yeshua was sent to Earth just to die when God could simply save everyone and skip the nonsense in-between. You know, that whole Judas-the-traitor and bloody sacrifice stuff.
If God is omnipotent, why would he need to create a sacrifice? People wonder, “why would God send himself to Earth to sacrifice himself TO himself… to save people from himself?”
Yeah, that sounds batshit crazy. And it would be, if that’s what was going on. However, God didn’t sacrifice himself (as Yeshua) to himself. He sacrificed Yeshua to Satan. The true creator God is not in control of this world. This is not His world. This is Satan’s world. It runs according to Satan’s rules. Man is bound, in the flesh, to Satan’s rules.
Yeshua’s sacrifice seems strange when you believe Jehovah is the creator God. However, once you realize Jehovah is Satan, it makes perfect sense.
Jehovah, Satan, is the one who enjoys the smell of burning flesh and demands constant blood sacrifice. It’s Jehovah/Satan who is the ruler of this world, not the creator God.
Yeshua was not God’s sacrifice to himself, but was a sacrifice to the LORD, who is Jehovah/Satan. We are trapped in a world that is ruled by Satan, and blood sacrifice is the only language Satan speaks.
The true creator God made a deal with Satan/Jehovah, and provided the ultimate sacrifice (Yeshua) in exchange for providing man with a way out of this evil world. That is why it’s said that “Jesus is the only way.” Because we are literally trapped in Satan’s kingdom with no escape.
The “mark of the beast” is not 666
If you look at the original Greek manuscript for Revelation 13:18 – it was written in Greek – you won’t find the “mark of the beast” as “666.” What you’ll find are three Greek symbols: Chi Xi Sigma/Stigma. (Sigma and Stigma are pronounced the same).
In Greek gematria, Chi Xi Sigma is represented by the numbers 600, 60, and 6, which equals 666. This distinction matters immensely because “Chi Xi Sigma” was the common symbol used to represent “Jesus Christ.”
Yep, the mark of the beast from Revelation is the symbol for Jesus Christ.
What?? Hold on.
Jesus Christ is the “beast” spoken about in Revelation. But not in the way you might think. It’s not that Jesus (Yeshua) is the beast and all who worship Christ and take his mark will perish.
The symbol of Christ (Chi Xi Sigma) is not just another name for Jesus Christ – in Greek, it represents Christ’s death/sacrifice. The sacrifice Christ made is denoted as the beast, not Jesus himself. Chi Xi Sigma, as the beast, represents man, who has lost his way.
The mark of the beast – 666 – Chi Xi Sigma – represents what Yeshua died for: man using his own strength for self-gratification, doing things his way, trying to control his life and his world, rather than following God the creator.
When you try to control your life rather than giving all the glory to God, you are a slave to the beast of revelation that will keep you forever trapped in Satan’s world.
However, you won’t find the true creator God in the Bible. In the Old Testament, you’ll find Satan posing as Jehova, destroying everything and everyone.
In the New Testament, you’ll find Yeshua talking about his “father, who art in heaven.”
You have to study the parables on multiple levels to understand what Yeshua is talking about. Or, go inside yourself and find out first-hand what he’s talking about.
The “powers that be” only use “666” to create fear
The “global elite” people talk about today, who use the Bible, including Revelation and the number “666” are only using it to create fear and panic. There is no mark of the beast coming to the world.
Revelation does say that man can’t buy or sell without taking the mark of the beast. However, it’s not a physical mark. The mark of the beast (Chi Xi Sigma) is literally man’s carnal nature. To buy or sell is to indulge in self-gratification, automatically. If you are buying and selling, you are participating in the beast system that is man’s carnal nature.
You simply can’t buy or sell without participating in the self-gratification of consumerism and materialism. The idea of money itself is a beast system. When you buy and sell, you automatically participate in the self-gratification and materialism.
There will come a time when nobody can buy or sell without some kind of digital passport, but that’s not “the mark.” The mark is your allegiance to the system that creates and perpetuates self-gratification and materialism, the carnal nature of man and his desire to fulfill all of his desires and control his life and his world.
Control is the beast. Taking credit for your life is allegiance to the beast.
What about the right hand and forehead?
What about the mark of the beast being in the right hand or forehead? This is pretty easy to see. The mark of the beast is Chi Xi Sigma – the symbol of Yeshua’s sacrifice – which is represented by a cross. Roman Catholics cross themselves with their right hand and receive a mark (a cross/characterem) on the forehead for Ash Wednesday.
I’m going to piss off some Catholics here, but no organization (other than the freemasons) has closer ties to Satanism than the Roman Catholic church.
PS: have you noticed that man is made of carbon, and carbon has 6 protons, 6 electrons, and 6 neutrons? How interesting…
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“Satan, the ruler of this world, will be cast out.” (John 12:31)
“Jesus said, ‘The ruler of this world approaches. He has no power over me.’” (John 14:30)
“Satan, who is the god of this world, has blinded the minds of those who don’t believe the Gospel.” (2 Corinthians 4:4)
“We are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil spiritual rulers and authorities, and against mighty powers in this dark world.” (Ephesians 6:12)
“We know that the world around us is under the control of the evil one.” (1 John 5:19) “Who can win this battle against the world? Only those who believe that Jesus is the Son of God.” (1 John 5:5)
“Jesus gave his life for our sins, just as God our Father planned, in order to rescue us from this evil world in which we live.” (Galatians 1:4)
“The world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world. And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever.” (1 John 2:16-17)
New age groups and teachers have convinced thousands of people that the ultimate goal in life is to attain “Christ consciousness.” They say that Jesus Christ, whether he was a real person or a symbol, came to Earth and realized he was God – someone all-powerful, capable of expressing superpowers, and doing anything he put his mind to achieve.
And, they say, our goal is to achieve the same – to realize that we, too, are God. To realize that we are all powerful Gods and are here to create everything good we desire for our lives.
Oh, it sounds good, but nothing could be further from the truth.
Have these “new agers” actually read the Bible? No, but they have sound bytes. You know, quotes and stories taken out of context that get repeated over and over. Some of those stories aren’t actually even in the Bible.
The new age Jesus is not the same Jesus in the Bible. The new age Jesus has been created to be a symbol of self-serving, individualistic ideology. The new age Jesus says, “you are God and therefore have a duty to create your materialistic dreams! Achieve Christ consciousness and you’ll get everything you want in this world! Money, fame, power, a house, a car, anything!”
The new age Jesus is a symbol of how man can overcome his own humanity and rise above being a vulnerable human and get everything he wants, including immortality, health, wealth, and physical resources. Whatever you need, bro, just start meditating and develop a Christ consciousness and you’ll be covered.
New age Jesus isn’t the Biblical Jesus
The new age story of Jesus isn’t in the Bible. Jesus Christ didn’t come to Earth and realize he was God. He came to Earth and humbled himself completely and embraced being a lowly human being. He didn’t try to “be like God,” and he never told anyone else to “be like God.” He did and taught exactly the opposite.
“In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
by becoming obedient to death—
even death on a cross!”
Philippians 2:5-8
Jesus knew he was God, but didn’t use that knowledge to his advantage to gain anything.
Jesus didn’t try to get ahead materially in the world.
Jesus didn’t even avoid his own death, attempting to achieve immortality – he already knew he was immortal. He allowed himself to die as a human being.
Me: “But you haven’t opened the box, how do you know?”
InTeRwEbZ: “I designed the device that inserts fish into boxes at the factory.”
Me: “But you don’t personally insert the fish into boxes and people say they’ve opened boxes without fish inside. There’s something fishy going on, I don’t think there are fish in every box.”
InTeRwEbZ: “Oh, there are. I have a degree in fishology. And my device was specifically crafted to put fish in boxes, therefore every box contains a fish.”
Me: “Unless you opened the box, you don’t actually know what’s in the box. The box closer might tell you they put a fish in the box, but unless you open that box and look for yourself, the contents are unknown.”
InTeRwEbZ: “That’s not a fact, facts have sources, what are your sources? You’re making assumptions!”
Me: “I’m stating facts, you’re assuming the fish is in the box when you haven’t verified this for yourself.”
InTeRwEbZ: “No, you’re the one making assumptions based on things outside your area of expertise.”
Scotty, beam me up already, I’ve landed on the wrong f-ing planet.