Category: Awakening

My Dream Job Manifested in a Fit of Rage

There’s an idea floating around that says we create our reality, and if you want to manifest a desire, you have to do some (or all) of the following:

  • Become one with your desire
  • Feel what it would be like to have your desire
  • Spend a lot of time impressing your desire onto your subconscious
  • Use subliminal messages
  • Focus with absolute clarity on your desire
  • Set positive intentions for obtaining your desire
  • Visualize experiencing your desire with all 5 physical senses
  • Believe you’ll receive your desire
  • Avoid feeling negatively about your desire

This list is not complete by any means. There are as many techniques and rules for manifesting your desires as there are stars in the sky. A quick Google search for “how to manifest desires” will provide you with the option to buy countless programs for one easy payment of just $249 $97, promising to teach you the real secrets nobody else in the world has access to.

Before I go any further, allow me to explain why I’m writing this article. My experiences with manifesting desires contradict all of the conventional rules for manifesting. For many years I didn’t understand why. Now I do.

Spoiler alert: Along the journey I discovered that I was not manifesting anything. I was not in control or in charge of my life. I was given the illusory experience of being in control, much like a plastic steering wheel a child holds in the family car. When I began to question my experiences, they fell apart at the seams and the man behind the curtain was revealed.

I’m not writing this article to analyze any specific manifestation techniques. The purpose of this article is to create an inquiry into how manifestation actually works. Not how I want it to work, or how I think it should work – but how it actually works. And I’m exploring this because I’ve experienced an enormous gap between the way people say manifestation should work – and the way it actually works.

As part of this exploration, I’m going to share a story about how I broke every “rule” about manifesting desires when I obtained my dream job.

For ten months, I was rejected by every job I applied for despite 17 years of expertise

I was a barista, supervisor, and cafe manager for seventeen years and my coffee expertise is extensive. So imagine my shock when I found myself unemployed for ten months while living in the coffee capital of the US, unable to get hired anywhere. And I mean anywhere. I branched out to Walmart, Taco Bell, and McDonalds in three cities and got nowhere.

When I followed up on my applications, phone numbers were disconnected, managers were never available if I drove by, and in many cases no one ever answered the phone – it just rang forever. A cafe that wanted to hire me suddenly filled the position, and the only two interviews I got both said they were absolutely impressed with my skills and knowledge of the business, tested me in the store, yet still turned me down.

I was rejected from Fred Meyer, Starbucks, Target, Walmart, McDonalds, Dairy Queen, and never received a single reply from any of my 80+ online applications. Many of those applications provided no contact information to follow up, and some even explicitly stated that applicants were NOT to follow up. It was unreal. It was also maddening. My unemployment had run out and I had no money to pay the electricity bill, and there was a renter on my property sharing the electricity so that wasn’t going to go over very well. I was so desperate for a job I was willing to do anything that would pay me.

I had borrowed money for the previous month’s utility bills, and my current bills were overdue. The electricity was about to be shut off if I didn’t figure something out within days. So I got angry. I mean, I got really angry.

I spent most of my food money on gas just to deliver applications and get to interviews and ended up living off of ramen noodles, toast, and peanut butter for a few months when I had less than $20 in my bank account. I had to go on food stamps and spend hours doing surveys online for pennies just to survive.

I didn’t know if most of my anger came from not being able to get a job, or from listening to other people tell me they don’t understand why I didn’t just “go get a job” like normal people do. I did everything possible in the physical world. It just wasn’t happening.

My last job was literally handed to me on a silver platter by someone I had just met, and it required me to move to the city I wanted to move to. I didn’t put in any effort there. Clearly effort was not part of the equation for manifesting desires.

I knew that efforting in the physical world was a waste of time, but I was so upset that I kept doing it anyway. It was like beating my head against a brick wall.

I was faced with the dilemma of being unable to express to people what was going on. Nobody understood. People could only look at my situation from the perspective of, “just take the first job you can, you need to eat and pay your bills.”

Nobody seemed to understand that I wasn’t turning down jobs. I had no job offers to turn down. I was being rejected at every turn.

And the space I was in was, “I don’t care if I starve, I’m not going back to being a corporate slave and I really don’t care about the consequences.”

There are some people in this world who will sacrifice their convictions in order to be comfortable or to survive. Me? Nope. If I’m not living according to my convictions, I’m already dead. I’ll engage any experience life has to bring even if it’s not comfortable because I know what’s on the other side of the sword.

I suffered greatly for this way of being as a kid, but I always emerged victorious and created a massive wake of change for others. Rules were changed at my high school because I refused to back down in the face of opposition when standing up for what’s right. Suspension? Detention? Expulsion? Bring it on.

Everyone had opinions as to why I couldn’t get a job. Maybe it was my resume or the way I was dressed.

My resume wasn’t the problem. My attire wasn’t the problem. The problem was that I had already declared to the Universe that I did not want to work in coffee anymore, and I wanted to pursue my passion – writing. Because life had become mundane working as a slave to corporations. I was done. I just wanted to be happy. And that wasn’t going to happen if I continued to ignore my passion.

I let the rage build up inside of me

I did what you’re NOT supposed to do. I allowed myself to feel my anger deeply. It turned into a boiling rage. At first I hated the businesses that wouldn’t hire me. Then I hated the business owners. Then I hated the entire coffee industry. Next, I hated the entire world for making my life so difficult. And finally, I hated myself. I hated myself with a passion so deep that I really thought I was better off dead. I felt useless and worthless. I hated myself to the point where I didn’t care if I lived or died and I meant it. I could have put my fist through a wall I was so full of rage.

And in that moment of complete self-hatred, something shifted for me. I got up from the couch and said out loud, “what the hell am I supposed to do? I can’t pay my bills. What, am I just supposed to go do what I love and forget about the money? Is that what this is about? Am I supposed to stop applying for coffee jobs and somehow go do what I really want to do? OK fine, screw this, I’ll just go be a writer!”

I was being sarcastic. I didn’t think I could “just go be a writer.” Who does that? Who just decides they’re going to get a job doing what they love by no other means than their own declaration?

I went on Craigslist, pounded the keys searching for writing jobs, applied to the first one I found, and had no idea what I was really applying for. I was absolutely convinced that I was wasting my time and would never hear back. I was convinced that they weren’t going to like my writing samples. Or if I did hear back, they’d offer me some low wage position that wasn’t worth my time.

A few days later I got a gig writing for a well known company where I get to work from home and I get paid well.

I didn’t see that one coming. And it happened inside of my absolute rage. And that’s why I’m questioning the conventional ideas about how desires actually become manifest.

I didn’t believe in my own dream

Being paid to write and work on my own schedule without having to leave home was something I never thought I could obtain. Although it was my ultimate dream, there has never been an ounce of my being that has ever believed in this possibility. I have been filled with doubt since day one.

At one point, I had begrudgingly put on an attitude of determination and spent about three months submitting my work to various “paid writing opportunities” and ended up getting completely ignored and scammed in the process. And yet somehow the moment I got really angry and didn’t care if I lived or died is when my dream unfolded? How the heck did that happen?

Now I want to dive into a little background on my experiences that have caused me to move deeply into this inquiry. Because my dream job isn’t the only thing I’ve manifested contrary to the “rules” of manifestation. Not only have I manifested desires in a fit of rage, but I’ve manifested the majority of my desires without effort. In fact, the only desires that haven’t manifested are the ones I’ve spent time and effort trying to create.

I’ve noticed that the more effort I put into manifesting a desire, the longer it takes to manifest (if it manifests at all). And when I put a lot of effort into manifesting something, when it finally does manifest, it’s not exactly what I wanted.

On the other hand, when I don’t put any effort into manifesting, and I don’t spend any time focusing on what I want, my desires pop up like weeds – and they’re specific.

It’s as if the process of focusing on my desire actually interferes with its manifestation and dilutes the specificity of the desire.

I’ll give you a few examples:

Manifestation #1: I decided that I wanted to move back to Santa Cruz and live with my closest friend again, since we shared an apartment previously and it was such a wonderful experience. I made no effort to make it happen, and I didn’t focus on it. I set the intention with a contemplation, packed my boxes in anticipation, and left it alone.

Not long after, that same friend asked me for a ride to the airport. Somehow nobody else was able to take her. Before heading to the airport, we went to a coffee shop to meet up with a friend of hers. Halfway through the conversation he looked at me and asked me what I do. I told him I do web marketing. He said, “I need to hire you yesterday. You need to move here. When can you start, and how much money do you need?”

A week later I was living with my best friend in a new townhouse together on a cliff overlooking the ocean, and my salary doubled. Just like that.

Manifestation #2: On an excruciatingly hot, sunny day in  Hollywood, my friend and I left our apartment and began the long journey to find her car parked way up the hill. Halfway to the car I realized I forgot my sunglasses. Going through the day without sunglasses was not an option. Within seconds I literally ran face first into a tree branch. It smacked me pretty hard. And hanging on that branch was a pair of black sunglasses. I joked with my friend that sunglasses really do grow on trees! And we had an even better laugh later on when we went to a restaurant that had a miniature fake tree on the counter wearing a pair of sunglasses.

Manifestation #3: I went to Goodwill and on my way in I wondered if I might find a pair of JNCO jeans. It was only a passing thought and I forgot about it the moment I entered the store. Until I approached the clothing rack, touched my hand to part the jeans and a rare pair of JNCO jeans fell to the floor.

Manifestation #4: I went to Target and was browsing the furniture section and saw a unit that had 9 cubes and thought it would be perfect for my room. I looked at the $75 price tag and walked away. As soon as I got home, sitting in front of my apartment complex dumpster was a solid wood unit with 9 cubes, just like the one I saw at Target.

Manifestation #6: I thought it would be great to have two 6 foot tall black bookshelves with 5 shelves each. A few days later, sitting next to the same dumpster, were two identical 6 foot tall black bookshelves with 5 shelves each.

These were not isolated incidents. I have furnished every house I’ve lived in this way – the furniture I need just shows up in my life. And I have documented at least 100 incidents of effortless manifestations. Life shows up for me when I’m in a space of total surrender, completely unaware that there’s anything “to do.”

Law of attraction advice is quicksand

When so-called “law of attraction” experts say that you need to experience the emotion you’ll feel when you have your desire, it seems to make logical sense. But now I see that’s only a sure way to manifest your future from the template of your past. Emotion is the ingredient that slows down manifestation, and we’ve been sold on emotion being the “secret sauce.” And it’s just not true. Emotion is not the “secret sauce” – it’s the quicksand that keeps you struggling.

The reason positive emotion keeps you struggling is because once you entertain a positive emotion you automatically have to start fending off your doubts about what you’re trying to manifest. For example, if your goal is to manifest a large sum of money, and you try to visualize yourself feeling ecstatic about having a large sum of money, you’re also going to induce your doubts. What if I lose the money? What if it’s not enough? Do I really deserve that much money? I’ve never had that much money before,” and on, and on.

Entertaining what seems like a “positive” emotion automatically brings in your doubts. There’s no way around it. And what do you do with your doubts? You try to ignore them, sweep them under the rug, convince yourself they don’t exist, etc. And by the time you’re done entertaining your doubts, you’ve created a scenario where you’re going to manifest your money – but it’s going to come to you through your limitations – not because they’re subconscious belief patterns you can’t control, but because you brought them into your conscious awareness.

Your subconscious beliefs aren’t controlling your life from some nebulous, untouchable place. It’s not actually that complicated, but when you’re holding false beliefs about manifestation, it seems like a legitimate explanation. Pop the false belief and that explanation falls apart.

Life has its own rhythm and flow

When I stop trying to control my life, that’s when it works. It’s also when I have no desire for control. It sounds like a paradox and I suppose it is. The moment you decide you want to create something in order to change something you don’t like about your life, that’s when struggle sets in.

And “accepting what is” doesn’t mean giving in, or surrendering to a fate of oblivion in complete defeat. Accepting what is just means looking at what is and acknowledging it without making it right or wrong. It is what it is.

Cross-posted from my other blog.

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What Came First: The Chicken or The Egg?

What Came First: the Chicken or the Egg?

This question has been asked for centuries, and in that time some decent philosophical and logical answers have emerged:

…It’s like a circle; it has no beginning and no end, it’s infinite…

…Two birds who weren’t fully chickens created the first egg that became a chicken…

…We can never know the truth; even the best evidence is incomplete…

Clearly, logic and deep thought were engaged to arrive at the answers above. However, it was the ego’s need to be right that came up with those answers. That’s fine when you’re in a logical debate, but if you’re on a mission to Awaken, those answers won’t do.

Continue reading →

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Awakening Warrior – Blurb

Awakening Warrior chronicles the journey of a dauntless seeker answering the Clarion call to conquer himself.

Programmed for destruction, he wages war against the world, seeking revenge for his heavy hand in life. Turning his sword against himself, his error is revealed; he dealt his own hand.

With nothing to lose, he throws his cherished beliefs, dreams, and identities into the crucible. When his greatest fears begin to manifest one-by-one, he walks straight into the lion’s mouth to conquer them all.

Through a series of mystical events, a journey born from destruction unfolds into synchronicity and magic. However, he doesn’t climb out of the fire until everything has been consumed – including his self-created destiny, his spiritual achievements, and all his pearls of wisdom.

After Darshan with the cosmos, attending a mystery school, and studying under an enlightened master, he declares war on illusion. When the cosmic punchline is delivered in an unexpected way, he realizes being Awake is nothing like he imagined it to be.

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You Are the Wind

Billy: “so you’re basically telling me I should just go wherever the wind blows…?”

Sam: “You are the wind. You have no choice.”

When you know what you are, going with the flow isn’t disempowering. You are the flow. There is nothing else. Resistance is your prison. Realizing choicelessness is liberation.

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School Shooters Are a Thorn in Everyone’s Side

School shooters are a thorn in everyone’s side. Devastating communities for decades, they’ve got the world on edge. Who’s next? Roll the dice. It can happen anywhere. Soon, parents will send their kids to school in designer flak jackets.

In the wake of each shooting, shattered communities want answers. Parents are investigated. Friends are questioned. And the world argues over the solution like a game of whack-a-mole:

We need to protect kids from violent media influences. No, the real solution is to eradicate bullies. Forget the bullies, we should outlaw semi-automatic firearms. That’s stupid; guns don’t kill people. Why don’t we stop giving kids psychotropic drugs and start arming teachers? Maybe these kids are just crazy and there’s nothing we can do.

In the midst of these arguments, the next school shooter silently gears up, enters a school, and starts shooting. More students and teachers die. Some say they never saw it coming; others say they should have known. The community deals with the aftermath. Wash, rinse, repeat.

The community deals with the aftermath. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Evan Ramsey. Luke Woodham. Michael Carneal. Mitchell Johnson. Andrew Golden. Kip Kinkel. Dylan Klebold. Eric Harris. Andy Williams. Elizabeth Bush. Jeff Weise. Erik Hainstock. Seung-Hui Cho. T.J. Lane. Kimveer Gill. Bastian Bosse. Adam Lanza. William Atchison. Nikolas Cruz. And on, and on, and on.

These tragedies are incomprehensible to the average person; well-meaning psychologists do their best to explain how rage, resent, depression, and deep-seated hatred can catalyze a desire for mass murder. Meanwhile, kids continue to die.

Explanations are insightful, but each new shooting highlights a grim reality: understanding school violence doesn’t prevent it.

We’re drowning in a sea of explanations, and based on results, those explanations haven’t made a difference. Explanations help us to make sense of tragedy in hindsight, but it’s not enough. We need strategies to help teenagers out of those dark spaces that lead to isolation, resentment, and revenge.

We’re drowning in a sea of explanations. The marketplace is saturated with this type of intellectual fodder. And, based on results, it hasn’t gotten us anywhere.

Individual circumstances vary, but each shooter’s motivation contains the same premise: they feel disconnected from society and sought revenge against those perceived responsible for their suffering, whether individuals or the whole world.

We don’t need another psychological autopsy of the latest school shooter. We don’t need another book retelling the story of Columbine. It’s time to curb the addiction to fictional reconstructions, theories, and psychoanalysis.

We need a story that demonstrates prevention in the real world; a story that proves school shooters can transform their lives before they pull the trigger; a story that demonstrates how anyone – including you – can be the catalyst for that change in someone else’s life.

We need a story that gives hope to teenagers (and adults) who are crumbling under the weight of a world they feel disconnected from. We need a story written by someone who has made the journey from destruction to liberation, someone who knows the terrain and all of its sticky traps.

We need a story that destroys the misperception that some kids are unreachable monsters; a story demonstrating that personal reality is malleable regardless of circumstance, proving that anyone can change when they have a burning desire to transform their life.

Such a story would be the first of its kind, and it happens to be the story you’re reading now.

///

I understand school violence in ways most people can’t fathom. At fourteen years old, I decided to pack years of rage into the barrel of a gun and unleash that rage at school.

Although I made the decision to do it, it never went beyond an idea. I didn’t have access to a gun. But that didn’t stop me from planning and threatening a suicide-murder mission in eighth grade. I wanted revenge more than my own life. It was 1995 – three years before Jonesboro, four years before Columbine, and twelve years before Virginia Tech.

When Columbine happened, I latched onto the tragedy as if it were my own. I submerged myself in the online culture of “Columbine Research.” I entered a world of obsession, crossing paths with everyone you can imagine, including soon-to-be school shooters.

For years I perceived the actions of others to be the cause of my rage. It made sense. People were excessively cruel to me every day of my life until I graduated high school. Being abused and harassed in school made me feel horrible. Obviously my suffering was caused by their actions.

The Awakening experience gave me an entirely different understanding.

///

Beginning in 2000, a series of mystical events shifted my perception. In 2000, I began experiencing a powerful kundalini awakening. In 2012, it became intense. In 2016, I abandoned a cushy lifestyle to live in a cabin in the woods.

Today, I live an extraordinary life where miracles manifest around every corner. Although, it’s actually other people who use the term ‘miracle’ to describe the way my life unfolds. Calling something a miracle implies it was an unexpected event. I don’t experience life that way.

When I say my life is extraordinary, I don’t mean to imply that I’ve achieved some kind of status. Quite the opposite. Extraordinary, to me, means exactly that – extra ordinary. Ordinary with a side of ordinary; hold the pickles. Living inside the ordinariness of life is where I found the abiding contentment I spent decades pursuing through business ventures and countless spiritual pursuits.

I’ve reached a place of ease where the struggle to survive – physically and psychologically – has dissolved. Life is effortless – not because it’s convenient and comfortable, but because I’m no longer fighting against it. I’m not struggling to maintain an identity in the world. I have a deep connection with life, and a deep appreciation for simplicity. And life has a way of flowing without much input from me.

It’s hard to believe I was once consumed by suicidal, homicidal rage. Although, my transformation is proof that even the most destructive mindset can be healed.

Destruction was my path to liberation

Most people presume the Awakening experience will be positive, like lovers dancing in a field of flowers, blissed out and feeling “one” with the universe. That makes for a good greeting card, but it wasn’t my journey. I discovered Awakening to be a ruthlessly destructive process. While it was happening, I felt like I’d been skewered by the sword of failure held by an invisible hand that moved me around against my will.

I didn’t take the easy road, and I didn’t take the road less traveled. I continued straight ahead, forging a path through the thick of a dark and brambled forest; thorns piercing my body from every angle. I emerged exhausted and bloody, yet victorious. What I discovered destroyed the perception that abuse had caused my suffering.

A story about transformation, not motivation

My story will take you beyond motivation, into a space that provides answers from the perspective of the Awakened state – the top-down view. A perspective I didn’t have access to until I became committed to unraveling my inauthenticities. Once I tugged on the first thread, my life unraveled like a Weezer song.

Getting to this point wasn’t easy. I had to confront my worst fears and walk through them all. I had to let go of the one thing that provided me with comfort: my suffering. Not just suffering, but my suffering. I clung to it like a koala to a Eucalyptus tree. And when I realized nobody was going to pry it away, I had to do it myself.

I’m sharing my story because…

… right now, there are kids plotting murder under their parents’ noses. Their friends know something’s wrong, but don’t know how to intervene.

… right now, there are teenagers and adults sinking deeper into suicidal despair who don’t know how to get out of their downward spiral.

… right now, there are thousands of people whose lives will one day be ripped to shreds by a school shooting. Like all who came before, they’ll say, “He was such a nice kid. I never thought it would happen here.”

I’m sharing my story because the world is divided on the issue of school violence. And I’m committed to bridging this cavernous gap.

I’m sharing my story because right now, thousands of teenagers are suicidal because they feel irrelevant. And they need to know their life matters.

I’m sharing my story because freedom and joy are available to all, regardless of circumstance.

Most of all, I’m sharing my story to encourage parents to develop authentic connections with their kids, and to give teens the courage to have ruthless compassion for friends who may be on the edge.

And if you’re on the edge, I wrote this book as an invitation to take a few steps back, just for now.

No matter who you are, I’m committed that by the end of this book, you’ll see a bigger possibility for your life, and you’ll know that your life and your voice matter.

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You’re Sitting in the Back Seat

The belief that one ought to have goals to strive for is at the heart of suffering. Some spend their whole lives caught in a compulsory cycle of desperation to achieve something in life, as if the marvelous fact that they exist isn’t enough.

We live in a world of go-getting motivational marketers, pushing action on the world as their drug of choice.

Life is simple. Nothing needs to be done. Nothing is urgent.

Actions which change the fate of nations are indeed no different than no action at all.

We have the freedom to choose the context of our lives and create whatever meanings we wish. And those who choose stillness and silence for their lives are just as important as those who feed ten million starving people across the world. There is no importance or unimportance in either. They just are.

Striving for achievement is an illusion. It’s simply our identity attempting to reinforce itself through yet another channel. And we don’t notice because at our core we believe we ought to be doing something with our lives.

Freedom lies in the realization that you don’t need to achieve anything to be worthy of existing. Your task is to hold the space for experience. You’re not a doer, you’re a watcher. You just haven’t realized you’ve been given a fake, plastic steering wheel. You think you’re driving the car, when you’re actually sitting in the back seat…

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Go Back to Sleep

Everyone holds in high regard, those who “dream big,” “have goals,” and want to “achieve success” in some way. Our entire society is centered around this mindset.

I invite you to consider that this mindset creates and perpetuates the feeling of, “not enough.”

Who is to say that having dreams and goals is optimal, while living each day as it is, without a goal in sight is less than optimal?

We live in a society that pushes perpetual goal setting, and those with goals are identified as “intelligent,” “brilliant,” and “important.”

We encourage and support each other most when we’re chasing dreams outside of ourselves. Building businesses to feed people, earning college degrees, losing weight, making money, being a contribution to the world… those are admirable pursuits.

What about those who don’t do those things? They don’t get so much attention. Who encourages someone to do nothing?

Ask someone what their vision is for their future and if they tell you they have none, you might be quick to think they’re a loser.

What if pursuing goals is a sham? An illusion designed to keep you tied to the physical world to keep striving for more and more and more… to distract you from knowing the Truth.

What if you already are a contribution to the world just by existing?

What if you’re not a contribution to the world and that’s perfect?

What if there’s no such thing as being a contribution to the world because the world doesn’t need a contribution because it’s already the contribution itself?

What if just existing is all there is to do and goals and dreams are meaningless?

What if complete satisfaction begins where the desire to be more ends?

What would you have to give up to rest in such a complete place?

Who would you be if you had nothing left to pursue, no desires, and had no vested interest in the outcome of your own life or the world?

What if dropping your attachment to outcomes is the necessary ingredient to achieve lasting contentment?

Struggle, struggle, sleep, sleep. Open one eye – go back to sleep. Strive, strive, sleep. Open the other eye – go back to sleep.

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Pain and Suffering IS the Human Experience

Believing “I create my own reality” was a fun adventure, but it ultimately ended in the realization that the “I” is not doing any of the creating. Furthermore, any Law of Attraction teaching that gets more complex than “the art of allowing” is just another aspect of Maya (illusion).

When you successfully create pieces of your reality, you think you’ve escaped the trap. You think the trap was your limitation. The truth is, the trap is thinking there’s something to escape from in the first place…

Here’s the catch. Teachers tell their students the personality isn’t creating; it’s the subconscious, the mind of God, the Void, that creates. Did anyone catch that? Read that again.

It’s important to be honest about what’s actually true versus what is just a belief. Beliefs are dangerous because we stake our lives on them when they aren’t even true.

No belief is true. You only believe something until something happens that proves you wrong. Then you adopt another belief. That’s not truth. Truth is unchanging and needs no explanation.

The key to enjoying life is to not get stuck in the experience. Any experience. Good or bad. The personality doesn’t create anything, but it’s certainly going to like and dislike what is.

We want to think the personality creates because that belief maintains the illusion of control, the illusion that life is about the personality. The illusion that life is for the personality.

Law of Attraction teachings train our personalities into the mindset that seeking comfort is the right thing to do, that it’s a better choice than not seeking comfort. These teachings train our personalities into the habit of pursuing desires that only get bigger, and if we aren’t good at manifesting, the desires get more desperate.

In desperation, that’s when we have the biggest opportunity to wake up. When we can’t manifest our desires, we’re more apt to question what’s really going on. And that’s the point. That’s why we can’t manifest. That’s why Maya is out there trying to sucker us into another weekend Law of Attraction training course for just 3 payments of $997. The point isn’t to get good at manifesting – the point is to realize we’re not manifesting anything. At that point, awakening is right around the corner…

The idea that the personality is in charge and can create anything it wants keeps us focused on wanting only desirable experiences. Bigger, better, faster, stronger. The misperception that the personality can create maintains the false belief that we can control everything, that we SHOULD control everything.

Investing in this false belief causes us to reject and resist the undesirable aspects of life, aka reality. Once reality is out of the picture, we start on a path to escape pain, old age, and death. Just like the so-called masters… or are they?

The desire to control everything and stay comfortable prevents awakening. To have only desirable experiences is contrary to life. Yet nobody ever eliminates the unwanted no matter how good they are at manifesting parking spaces and winning the lottery.

Everyone is subject to ups and downs, yet it’s the part of life we deny and reject and strive to escape. We’re insane. We’re absolutely insane. Pain and suffering isn’t just an integral part of the human experience – pain and suffering IS the human experience.

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