Arguments on the internet be like:

InTeRwEbZ: “I know there’s a fish in the box!”

Me: “But you haven’t opened the box, how do you know?”

InTeRwEbZ: “I designed the device that inserts fish into boxes at the factory.”

Me: “But you don’t personally insert the fish into boxes and people say they’ve opened boxes without fish inside. There’s something fishy going on, I don’t think there are fish in every box.”

InTeRwEbZ: “Oh, there are. I have a degree in fishology. And my device was specifically crafted to put fish in boxes, therefore every box contains a fish.”

Me: “Unless you opened the box, you don’t actually know what’s in the box. The box closer might tell you they put a fish in the box, but unless you open that box and look for yourself, the contents are unknown.”

InTeRwEbZ: “That’s not a fact, facts have sources, what are your sources? You’re making assumptions!”

Me: “I’m stating facts, you’re assuming the fish is in the box when you haven’t verified this for yourself.”

InTeRwEbZ: “No, you’re the one making assumptions based on things outside your area of expertise.”

Scotty, beam me up already, I’ve landed on the wrong f-ing planet.